For much more detailed and lengthy answers to all of these questions, consult the MUMS Journal.

What is MUMS?

MUMS is the Miami University Masturbation Society. Technically, our name is The Masturbation Society, but 'Miami University' is automatically added on to all recognized student organizations at Miami.

Why is MUMS?

Why not?

How do I join MUMS?

Simply inform the Executive Supreme Dictator (currently Jason Alan Pfaff) that you'd like to be a member. But be forewarned: Once you join MUMS, you can never lose your membership, not even voluntarily. Never ever.

When are MUMS meetings?

Right now they're tentatively set for every Wednesday at 8:00pm, though no permanent meeting place has been established yet. Check out our handy-dandy Schedule of Events for specifics.

What happens at MUMS meetings?

The main meetings are mostly informative and social, including announcements, presentations, and guest speakers. No masturbation sessions or contests will be held without advance warning, so don't worry.

Should I bring a friend when attending a meeting?

You can come by yourself.

Is MUMS all men?

Hardly. Almost half of our memberships is made up of women.

Aren't you all just a bunch of sickos and freaks?

Maybe. Go to a meeting and find out.