Article I

Article II

1. to support those who wish to be comfortable with masturbation
2. to spread the joys, wonders, and benefits of masturbatory activities
3. to promote the safest sex possible
4. to combat and challenge social prejudice, stereotypes, gender roles, values, and whatever else we feel like combating and challenging at the time
5. to strive towards sexual gratification, manual dexterity, hand-eye coordination, and the use of the finer motor skills

Article III

1. Masturbation is a natural and wonderful thing, but modern society and religion have shunned it and even forbidden it, thereby creating an irrational guilt complex in many, if not most, members of society.
2. The social taboos connected with masturbation are also related to many other problems in society, including sexism, homophobia, and gender roles.
3. Sexual activity in general, including masturbation, is rarely discussed or talked about in a healthy manner, thereby creating misconceptions, misunderstandings, misdemeanors, and miscellaneous.
4. One is not fully able to love and/or appreciate another human being until he/she is comfortable with exploring his/her own body first.
5. It feels good.

Article IV

1. Open discussion about masturbation at meetings and in general conversation
2. Public forums at which masturbation and issues related to masturbation can be discussed
3. Panels for residence halls and classrooms, at which issues and questions concerning masturbation can be addressed
4. Public dances and socials
5. Masturbation sessions and contests (held in private, but open invitation)
6. The encouragement of the initiation of Masturbation Societies at other Universities and in other communities

Article V

A. Membership in The Miami University Masturbation Society is open to anybody currently enrolled Miami University student in the world, whether they masturbate or not. We don't discriminate on the basis of anything, be it age, gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnic background, religion, hair color, amount of baths taken, level of masturbatory activity, etc. 'Nuff said.

B. The members of The Miami University Masturbation Society are not required to pay membership dues, but they can if they want to.

C. Once a member of The Miami University Masturbation Society, always a member of The Miami University Masturbation Society. Members cannot lose their membership under any circumstances.

Article VI

1. Executive Supreme Dictator - the Executive Supreme Dictator is appointed each year by the previous Executive Supreme Dictator. The appointed Dictator must be a currently enrolled Miami University student, though the appointing Dictator need not be. The Executive Supreme Dictator is a voting member.
2. Co-Presidents - any currently enrolled Miami University student who joins The Miami University Masturbation Society before we become recognized as a student organization is made a Co-President. Co-Presidents are voting members.
3. Vice-Presidents - any currently enrolled Miami University student who joins The Miami University Masturbation Society after we become recognized as a student organization is made a Vice-President. Vice-Presidents are voting members.
4. Honorary Members - anybody who is not a Miami University student who joins The Miami University Masturbation Society is made an ex-officio non-voting Honorary Member

B. Any member may, at his or her discretion, invent a title for (him/her)self, in addition to the aforementioned office titles.

C. Once a President or Vice-President is no longer a currently enrolled student at Miami University, s/he becomes an Honorary Member. S/he may still use his/her title, provided the word 'former' or 'ex' or something similar is placed in front of it.

Article VII

A. Most actions of The Miami University Masturbation Society will be determined by a general consensus at meetings, be they formal or informal meetings. A quorum is not required.

B. In situations where a vote is necessary, all voting members are eligible to vote.

C. The Executive Supreme Dictator has the power to override any decision made by the body at any time.

Article VIII