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This index is not of every single Denny's in the world, but rather only those which I've personally visited. Follow the links to read full reviews (complete with photographs) of the Denny's visited during the trips listed. Cities given in the index are for the general area of the country, not necessarily the specific cities. If you like, you may also see these Denny's listed chronologically (in the order they were visited by me), or alphabetically by city and state.

Denny's #???? Nashville, Tennessee 22-Mar-96, 2:15pm CST 2304 Brick Church Pike, I-65 exit 7B at Trinity Lane (615) 228-1218

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: P7A77 - Seasoned Fries with BBQ sauce, Root Beer with Cherry Sauce; Amie - Italian Melt, Fries, Coke
• Nobody seems to know what Denny's store number this is. There was no plaque on any walls that I could see, and they had some funky computer system that didn't print it out on the check (as most Denny's do). I even called back and nobody knew. I'll keep trying. Anyway, it seemed that everyone who came in the door worked there. When we came in, a cook was eating at the counter, and as we were eating, people just walked in, then wandered around behind the counter and in the back room. At least they like it enough to be there on their off-time, I suppose. It should be noted that the cook had no teeth.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Kids Meal Stickers

Denny's #0002 Las Vegas, Nevada 25-May-97, 11:05pm PDT 1826 Las Vegas Blvd. South (702) 384-5624

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Tim
• What we ate: Nothing
• What an amazingly cool Denny's. It's got the old old style sign, but it's lit up in neon. It's also across the street from the Stratosphere Hotel/Casino. And, it's got the lowest Denny's store number so far in this project - Number TWO! As it turns out, though, it's not the second Denny's ever - all of the Denny's in existence were renumbered quite a few years back. Still, Vegas is one of the first cities to have Denny's, and it's pretty fun to get such a low number regardless.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Omelet Menu

Denny's #0004 Los Angeles, California 17 April 1999 2:11am PDT 7373 Sunset Blvd. (213) 876-6660

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Kim Zaninovich, Gil
• Wait-person(s): Iman
• What we ate: P7A77 - Moons Over My Hammy (with a side of mayonnaise), Hashbrowns, Biscuits and Gravy, Coffee, Water; Amie - Moons Over My Hammy, Hashbrowns, Water; Kim - Mozzarella Sticks, Dinner Salad, Grilled Cheese w/ Tomatoes, Water; Gil - Dinner Salad, Club Sandwich, Seasoned Fries, Water
• As is my custom, I'm writing the review of this Denny's several months after the actual visit. I can barely remember what happened this morning in my house, let alone late one drunken night in another city. On top of that, my notes from this night are very hard to read. I guess I'll just have to make do.
• This was my second time to LA in my life. Amie's college friend Kim lives there, so we flew on up for a visit. I was extremely disoriented and I felt out of place the entire time. Don't get me wrong; I'm usually like that, but this time even moreso. I couldn't get over the fact that a vast majority of the people and places we saw seemed to be just in the business of looking good and being cool. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, but I guess I'm just a midwest small town boy at heart. Oh, well.
• I should state that Kim was a wonderful hostess, and had nothing at all to do with my mood. It's the city. I know that if you're in the entertainment industry the city can suck the living soul out of your pores and then spit it back up your rectum, but even as a visitor who had nothing to gain or lose from the city, I got a sense of that. Then again, maybe I just need to get out of the house more.
• But moving on... After we left Kim's Apartment (passing by the ashtray in the lobby with the "no smoking" sign stuck in it), we went to the Viper Room. Apparently this is the place where River Phoenix died. It was fun, tho'. They had some goofy fun 70's cover band. Trite, I know, but fun nonetheless. Afterwards we went to the "Rock 'n Roll Denny's" on the strip.
• I have in my notes that there were people singing in the back section, that there was a music store near by (where Gil took classes at one time), that Amie would have preferred Moons Over My Lack Of Hammy (so why didn't she just order eggs, cheese, and toast?), that the waitress didn't write any of our order down but got it all right anyway, that there were pimps there, that it was the cheapest Denny's in the area, that some guy passed out in a booth behind us, and that we had a discussion of White Castle and their Chicken Rings (which I think are wonderful as a concept and a product), and that White Castle fries only come in one size.
• As we left to hail a cab (I actually remember this a bit), there was some sort of commotion with some guy pulling up in his car, getting out and pounding on the newspaper boxes, and generally just screaming about something or other. After a bit, the Denny's security and some real cops were chasing him and yelling at him. The guy ran across the street and into a neighborhood. A short while later, a cop car came squealing down the street and tore around the corner after him. It's like living theater right in front of your eyes.
• WAY: some of the customers
• Free Stuff: Two (2) Travel Guides (it took a while to get them, too)

Denny's #0038 Monterey, California 20 October 2000 5:20pm PDT 755 Abrego St. (408) 372-3077

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Jose
• What we ate: P7A77 - Charleston Chicken Ranch Melt, French Fries, Coke; Amie - Chili Size Burger, French Fries, Iced Tea
• On the drive to this Denny's we passed through the Big Sur area, which has the type of scenery of which everyone takes photos, but also has this big rock with a farmhouse on top and a big muddy field of cows in front. I'm not sure why, but something about that appeals to me.
• Talk about your classic restaurants. This is one of the few REALLY old signs I've seen, and it might even be one of the original Denny's logo designs. The manager wasn't sure when the restaurant was opened, but he said a few weeks previous a customer was in who said he had worked on the plastering for the building back in 1961, so that's the best guess they have for it. All I know is that this Denny's is so old, it doesn't have a Lounge, it has a Tavern. I'm hoping Denny's #0001 has a Saloon.
• Jose was great. The food we wanted was on the Lunch Special menu (only available at the discounted price until 4pm), but he gave it to us anyway. We're still not sure what size is "chili" size for a burger, tho'.
• In case you were worried that humanity might have a chance at survival after all, you were wrong.
• WAY: Regular Customer in Bar (name unknown)
• Free Stuff: ZOOB Menu Insert

Denny's #0070 Phoenix, Arizona 04 February 2001 12:20pm MST 3217 E. Van Buren St. (602) 275-1552

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Dorothy
• What we ate: nothing
• This place ain't exactly in the most tourist-friendly part of town, but that's okay, because I've rarely found a friendlier wait staff. Based on my brief encounter, if I lived in the area I would make this a regular weekend breakfast location. I would've eaten here except I had over a dozen to visit and I wasn't hungry yet. Gotta pace myself.
• Dorothy informed me that this location is the original Phoenix Denny's. In fact, it's so old that it was originally a Danny's Donuts. Wow.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Hashbrowns Covered & Smothered Pin

Denny's #0113 Las Vegas, Nevada 25-May-97, 10:00pm PDT 2545 E. Fremont St. (702) 384-7441

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Erlinda
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coke; Amie - Coke
• Things were hectic at this Denny's, what with the large crowd, apparent lack of servers, and people complaining about stolen bikes. We were hoping to find directions to the varios Vegas Denny's, since we wanted to make sure the Casino Royale Denny's was our hundredth. Our waitress didn't seem to have the best grasp of the English language (but she was very friendly, so we didn't hold it against her), which only complicated things. Luckily, the manager, Richard, was more than helpful. He gave us very good and complete directions to all the Vegas Denny's, and gave us some pretty groovy free stuff.
• Too bad I didn't win at the slot machines.
• WAY: No (but they did have someone who looked like Gallagher)
• Free Stuff: Suggestive Sell Cards (for employees), Denny's Lapel Pins

Denny's #0116 Nogales, Arizona 8-Mar-97, 4:15pm MST 683 N. Grand Ave., I-19 exit 8 (520) 287-4572

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Joanne
• What we ate: P7A77 - Strawberry Milkshake; Amie - Vanilla Milkshake (tho' she ordered chocolate)
• We had hoped that this Denny's would be right on the border, but it was a few miles north. Lucky for me that Amie speaks Spanish, because she was able to tell me what everyone was saying. We figured it'd be too difficult for us to try to explain what Project:Denny's was all about, so I opted to pocket something. I was bein' all slick and casual, slipping the pepper shaker into my hand while reaching for my shake. All was going smoothly untill I dropped it on the table, resulting in a loud 'thud'. So much for bein' suave.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: Pepper Shaker (stolen)

Denny's #0139 Agoura, California 19 October 2000 9:35pm PDT 29145 Canwood St. (818) 991-2393

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): undetermined
• What we ate: P7A77 - Cherry Cheesecake; Amie - Vanilla Shake
• I was planning on making the El Monte visit the last for the night (we were going to spend the night in Ventura, on the other side of Los Angeles), since we were getting a bit tired by this point, and not much exciting was happening at any of them anyway. Then I saw this sign in the distance and recalled how a friend of mine had ranted and raved about how cool it was and how there was this ball at the top with a bunch of lights on it and stuff, and figured if I didn't stop then I'd get yelled at when I got back to Tucson. He's right, it IS a cool sign, much like Denny's #0002 in Las Vegas, Nevada, across from the Stratosphere and also the one in Las Cruces, New Mexico. I was disappointed the top light-ball part of the sign was either turned off or burned out.
• I'm glad we stopped because I was in the mood for dessert and that cherry cheesecake was mmm-mmm tasty. Unfortunately, while the sign and food were great, nothing for free here. I went through my usual ordeal, to which they asked if I was on a scavenger hunt. I said yes, of sorts, and they said they're not giving anything away for the scavenger hunt. It seems there was some sort of local thing going on. I tried to tell them that I wasn't part of that, but by then it was too late. So damn you to whatever group it was that soured Denny's to giving away freebies! You owe me some ZOOBS.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #0141 Las Vegas, Nevada 26-May-97, 12:45am PDT 3397 Las Vegas Blvd. South (702) 733-8707

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Cindy
• What we ate: P7A77 - Chicken Quesadilla with No Guacamole and extra Sour Cream, Large Strawberry Banana Orange Juice; Amie - Moons Over My Hammy, Hashbrowns, Coke
• This is it. The one-hundredth Denny's for this project. And, as far as I'm concerned, quite an appropriate one to symbolize cheesy excess. They were pretty busy here, too, but our waitress was still all smiles. She was also quite good at upselling food. Even though they were busy, we got our orders very quickly. When we were finished, it took a while to find someone to talk to for free stuff, and I was prepared to leave, but Amie suggested we hang out for a while. And it was worth it. I got me a free Save the Children handprint tshirt. Now I can pretend like I've had little kids run their hands all over my chest. The trip to Vegas was well worth it.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Save the Children tshirt

Denny's #0145 Baldwin Park, California 19 October 2000 8:25pm PDT 14550 Baldwin Park Towne Center (626) 338-0217

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Mary (manager)
• What we ate: nothing
• I don't have very good night vision. So searching for Denny's while driving in heavy traffic on a five-lane highway with short off-ramps isn't the safest thing in the world for me to be doing. I'm not really sure why I felt it was necessary to drive in one of the left lanes while doing this, nor why I thought it was a good idea to suddenly cut across several lanes when a Denny's was spotted, just barely making it to the off-ramp, which involved driving pretty much perpendicular to it, since we had already missed the turn-off.
• Mary was good-natured about my visit (I didn't bother to tell her I almost killed a pile of people on my way in). I think she was just trying to get me out of there quickly, as there was a bit of a condescending tone in her perky attitude. When I asked for something for free, she turned to a waitress (who was busy doing something else and not aware of what was going on), asked for her "suggest the feature" pin off of her shirt, and gave it to me. The waitress was a little taken aback. I think for a second she thought she was being fired.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: "If I don't suggest the feature of the day, your meal is FREE!" pin

Denny's #0168 Effingham, Illinois 17-Mar-96, 1:15pm CST 1307 N. Keller Dr., I-57 exit 159 (217) 342-4543

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Chris
• What we ate: Coffee
• The Terre Haute Denny's had helped me adjust to the time difference, and this Denny's finished it off. This was perhaps the wackiest Denny's from this trip. Not only did they have a Weird Al working for them, but he was a manager, and he was there at the time. I even got a picture with him. The waitresses told us that they like to call each other "goon", and Kevin, the manager, was the high goon ("Heil the High Goon"). Kevin was so cool, in fact, that he gave us a free name tag without us even having to ask for anything. The cook, however, seemed to be just generally annoyed by us, and kept throwing us dirty looks.
• WAY: Yes (Kevin, the High Goon)
• Free Stuff: Denny's Balloon, "Trainee" Name Tag

Denny's #0251 Colorado Springs, Colorado 21 January 2000 8:30am MST 315 W. Bijou St. at I-25 (719) 634-4955

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Jon Vanderford
• Wait-person(s): Mary Jo
• What we ate: P7A77 - Hashbrowns, Biscuits & Gravy, Coffee; Amie - Bagel & Cream Cheese, Water; Jon - Water
• Jon was being a big grumpy poo-poo head by this point. Okay, sure, he was stuck in the back of the car, but he was also sleeping most of the time, and Amie and I drove the whole way (instead of the planned three shift pattern). Of course, part of the reason I volunteered to drive the rest of the way was because I knew Jon wasn't going to be too keen to pull over every five minutes at Denny's. Plus, it meant that I got to pick the music.
• This is actually the second Denny's off I-25 headed north through Colorado Springs. None of them give any warning, though, so we missed the first one. But it, like Albuquerque and Las Cruces before it, would be visited on the return trip.
• Some random notes: The waitress was very eager about the skillets and even made smacking noises as she tried to sell them to us. Amie blew cigarette smoke in my face, my reaction to which seemed to amuse the person sitting across the aisle from us. When we asked for something for free, they told us to go to 7-11 (I'm still not sure why).
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #0278 Redlands, California 19 October 2000 7:20pm PDT 1180 Alabama Street (909) 798-2475

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Denise
• What we ate: nothing
• I was so very excited when Denise gave me a handful of coupons. I thought maybe our funding for the rest of the trip would be greatly supplemented. It turns out they're only for the Denny's in Redlands. If anybody wants some, give me a call.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Coupons

Denny's #0284 South San Francisco, California 21 May 2002 3:50pm PST 2220 Westborough Boulevard (650) 873-0252

• Attendees: P7A77, Dave, Branson, Omar, Craig
• Wait-person(s): Matt (general manager), Mariano (the other manager), Ross (our server), Susan (server), Crissy (server), Bob (the Cook), Maria (the New Girl)
• What we ate: P7A77 - Sampler, Rootbeer (w/ Cherry Sludge); Dave - New & Improved! T-Bone Steak Dinner (medium), Iced Tea; Branson - nothing; Omar - Chicken Strips (w/ Honey Mustard), Sprite; Craig - Tuna Melt, Iced Tea
• It was on the way to this Denny's that Dave started to realize what he had gotten himself into. Ha-ha, he probably had previously thought to himself, we'll take a fun morning going around visiting Denny's. It'll be a hoot. I don't want to say I told him so, but, well, I told him so. The Oakland Denny's had put a sour mood in the air, and we had a ways to go before the next one. Since vintage luxury cars don't run on vegetable oil, we had to gas up before going over the bridge. Then we noticed a lot of gasoline was dripping from underneath the car, but the people at the rental place said it was normal. I don't think, at that point, anyone would have minded being engulfed in flame and molten metal, anyway. Of course, we got lost on the way to the Denny's. We had initially thought of going to six area restaurants, but by now we all agreed that four would probably be more than enough. It was getting to be quite a long day.
• And then we arrived. Several of the staff greeted us at the door. Everyone was extraodinarily friendly. The food arrived quickly and was cooked to perfection (we were so full from the other Denny's we couldn't finish it all, but it did taste very good... kudos to Bob). Not only did I get my usual Rootbeer with cherry sludge, but they let me mix my own. I was able to get the employees to do a "SLAM!" sing-along with me. Even the restrooms smelled good. And not only was there a WAY, but it was the general manager! Score! And oh, the booty we collected! Now, okay, granted there were maybe three other customers in the entire restaurant, and they knew we were coming, and they knew they'd be on the teevee... but as Oakland proved, that don't guarantee squat. Matt was the type of manager who would have joyously gone along with all the shenanigans anyway. It warmed my heart that a Denny's that would have been a good visit regardless was able to be the highlight of this special trip. It sure did lift our spirits for the last leg of the journey. Craig said it was the best Denny's he'd ever been to in San Mateo county.
• So one more shout-out to the fine staff at the South City Denny's. We owe ya one.
• WAY: Yes (Matt, the General Manager)
• Free Stuff: Three (3) Daytime Menus, One (1) Late Nite Menu, (1) Zoob Dude, One (1) Denny's Desk Clock, One (1) Denny's Calculator, One (1) Denny's Watch, One (1) Booster Seat

Denny's #0289 San Luis Obispo, California 20 October 2000 11:35am PDT 1460 Calle Joaquin (805) 543-7220

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Barbara
• What we ate: P7A77 - Sampler; Amie - Coke
• This is a teeny-tiny little Denny's with one of the older signs, but inside had a Diner conversion. The game where you put in a dollar and a claw comes down and almost grabs an item that's way too heavy for the weak springs in the claw to ever withstand so you put in another dollar and try again and almost get a hold of the edge but it slips away and so you put in another ten bucks and still don't end up getting a fifty cent toy but it doesn't matter because you're drunk and waiting for a table was filled with "scary" Hallowe'en-themed toys. Things like ghosts and masks and witches and stuff. And a Britney Spears doll. I don't think this needs any more comment.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Table Display

Denny's #0296 Oakland, California 21 May 2002 1:40pm PST 601 Hegenberger (415) 638-9632

• Attendees: P7A77, Dave, Branson, Omar, Craig
• Wait-person(s): Kia
• What we ate: P7A77 - Hashbrowns Covered & Smothered, Coke; Dave - Moons Over My Hammy (w/ Hashbrowns), Iced Tea; Branson - Coke; Omar - Club Sandwich (w/ French Fries), Strawberry Shake; Craig - Vanilla Shake
• They let me drive to this one! Okay, not really. But they did get footage of us inside the car. And in case you were wondering, those seats were awfully comfy. Nice, smooth leather. And when you pushed down on them, it was nothing but cushion. Not too firm, not too soft. It even had armrests. I'm sure some of my appreciation was from being blinded by the brand, but so damn what? It totally ruled the school.
• Unfortunately, this Denny's did not. Kia was great, but that's because she hadn't worked there long and didn't know any better. The manager was a little grumpy at our presence, even though they weren't very busy and we were being quiet in the back corner. She had to call somewhere to make sure it was okay for us to be there. Still, since we were on the teevee, I thought I'd try to get some good stuff. I asked for a rack of water glasses. An entire rack. She didn't seem terribly pleased with that idea. I think she thought she was under instruction by Denny's HQ to do whatever I said, as she had the look of "do I have to?" in her eyes. Any other time she would have laughed in my face. Finally, she produced an entire rack of wine glasses. Wait a minute, you're probably saying to yourselves, they don't serve wine at Denny's. Yes, sillies, that's why she was able to give me a rack of the glasses.
• Kia, through it all, was a good sport, and helped us ham it up for the camera. Craig said it was the best Denny's he'd ever been to in Alameda county.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: One (1) Menu, One (1) Rack of Fourteen (14) Wine Glasses

Denny's #0337 Denton, Texas 18-Mar-96, 10:35am CST 4007 I-35 (817) 382-9033

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: Nothing
• Even though this Denny's was extremely busy, they were very friendly with me, especially considering I wasn't buying anything. Ah, Denton, the Home of Happiness. A fitting city to end a 24-hour trek across the country.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: "Save the Children" Button

Denny's #0349 Barstow, California 12 October 2001 10:45am PDT 1201 East Main Street (760) 256-0022

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Sandra
• What we ate: P7A77 - Chicken Parmesan Sandwich (w/ french fries), Water; Amie - Bagel w/ Cream Cheese, Fresh Fruit Bowl, Coke
• We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the hunger began to take hold.
• Sandra was friendly and attentive, but it was difficult to understand what she was saying. But then, it's usually difficult to understand what I'm saying, so that's okay. Amie flicked a wadded up straw wrapper at me (while I wasn't looking, even... the nerve), but missed and just barely missed grazing the ear of the guy sitting in the booth behind me. I was too busy admiring the big cardboard pies in the display by the register to pay it much mind.
• The bagel was burned on both sides, and the fruit - initially forgotten by Sandra - was only some bananas with strawberry sludge. Hardly "fresh". My sandwich was delicious.
• Sandra was a little too weirded out by us to feel comfortable handing over a cardboard pie and summoned her manager, Micki, who unsuccessfully tried to pan Sandra off to us (this has happened a few times to me... maybe it's in the manager training guide). Amie did a bit of her smooth-talkin' and was able to get a cardboard pie out of the deal. Huzzah.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: cardboard pie

Denny's #0374 Las Cruces, New Mexico 23 January 2000 8:25pm MST 740 S. Main St., 2 miles north of I-10 (505) 524-0791

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Jon Vanderford
• Wait-person(s): Dinah
• What we ate: P7A77 - Rainbow Sherbet Vanilla Shake; Amie - Moonquake Shake (banana, coffee, and chocolate sauce); Jon - Strawberry Shake (with real strawberries)
• Well, hell. This is one difficult Denny's to find. We missed it on the way up (we got on Main Street too far north, and by the time we realized it, it was too late), so we took the main freeway on the way down, and looked for Main Street. No main street. Once we got out of town we figured we had gone too far, so we drove back the initial way we had gone through town, but this time took Main Street the other direction. Then it ended and became Water Street (or something). Then it was Main Street again. And there was the neon Denny's sign. In the old-style text. A rarity, to be sure.
• Dinah was almost more waitress than we could handle. Meaning, she was great, not that she was overly large or anything. She not only offered to make us custom shakes (mainly because she wasn't sure what they had and didn't want to check), but she suggested the "Moonquake" variety to Amie. How 'bout that! I figured I'd be able to get some really keen free stuff out of her, but I think I crossed the line from "cute & quirky" to "goddamned annoying", because she finally just gave me her Employee Safety Bingo Card to get me the hell out of there. Sorry, Dinah.
• Still, though, a satisfactory coda to a Denny's-filled weekend.
• WAY: Bob (cook)
• Free Stuff: Employee Safety Bingo Card
• Video: Mile High Club Part VII (~5.3MB)
• [NOTE: If you want to view the entirety of the video series, visit the original entries in the Chronological Reviews]

Denny's #0392 Gilroy, California 12 October 2001 4:20am PDT 8425 San Ysidro Avenue (408) 842-7678

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Tania
• What we ate: P7A77 - Triple Play Deal (eggs o/e, wheat toast), Coffee; Amie - All American Slam (wheat toast), Orange Juice
• I think we're officially old. Well, Amie is, anyway. This trip was from San Jose to Las Vegas for two reasons. One, we live in San Jose. Two, Amie went to high school in Las Vegas. So what? Who cares? We were going there for her ten year High School Reunion. Bwahahah.
• We woke up bright and early around 3am, fell asleep during our respective showers, and hit the road. We detected a faint garlic smell, looked up, and saw the Denny's sign. Looked across the highway at a bank sign, and it read 4:20. The gods, they do smile upon us.
• The place had a strange vibe to it. Well, not strange so much as long forgotten. It was the feeling of the place gets after the hump of the overnight is over, when the truckers are coming in for a jolt of coffee, and the employees are a bit punchy. Tania was prompt and attentive, taking us to our seats right away, and returning with our drink orders immediately. But she screwed up who got which drink, so we knew our moment in the sun was over.
• As faintly indicated by the commercials, the $3.99 Triple Play prices and participation may vary. $5.99. Welcome to California. It also didn't taste so good. The sausages were a bit weird. I had trouble cutting my ham, when Amie pointed out that it's easier to use a knife and I should put down the fork. She was right. No matter, the ham tasted weird, too.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Night Menu

Denny's #0404 New Castle, Indiana 17-Mar-96, 10:30am CDT I-70 & State Route 3 (317) 987-7099

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Lori
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coffee; Amie - Moons over My Hammy ("This is definitely the messiest thing in the world to eat"), Coke
• This Denny's was quite busy. It was also a bit weird for me, as it was the first Denny's in a long time where I was there during the daylight hours. The attitudes of the staff were definitely quite different than those of graveyard shift. They seemed a bit put-off at having to deal with freaks this early in the day. They also couldn't quite understand why I would have my own Denny's mug. Lori, our waitress, was sort of impressed and confused by my quest. She never seemed to quite get a handle of what was going on.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Raspberry Nestea coaster (given), silverware set (stolen)

Denny's #0440 Carte Madera, California 21 May 2002 11:50am PST 5839 Paradise Drive (415) 924-9202

• Attendees: P7A77, Dave, Branson, Omar, Craig
• Wait-person(s): Marla
• What we ate: P7A77 - Veggie Cheese Omelette (w/ grits & wheat toast), Milk, Orange Juice; Dave - Original Grand Slam (sunny side up), Coffee, Orange Juice; Branson - Original Grand Slam (over easy), Hashbrowns, Orange Juice; Omar - Grand Slam Slugger (lightly scrambled, w/ grits), Milk, Orange Juice; Craig - All-American Slam, Hashbrowns, Orange Juice
• You may be wondering by now what the hell is going on here. Well, I'll tell ya.
• One fine morning (and it was really fine), the crew from KPIX's Evening Magazine stopped by my apartment to do a segment on this whole wacky cesspool of untempered fascination we lovingly refer to as Project: Denny's. I told them that they didn't really want to do that. They said they did. I told them I knew better. They insisted. Then they told me about the car. And the CBS Credit Card. I asked when we could start.
• First they wanted to get a sense of the scope of the whole thing, and have me display some of the swag I've gotten from previous visits. So I set some up. Then I set up the rest. Then I thought about how a lot of the stuff I've gotten has been thrown or given away. Then I reflected upon my adult life. Then I wept quietly to myself.
• But by now it was too late. So we hopped in the Rolls and headed on up north to Marin. We thought yeah, ha-ha, fancy car in front of Denny's, so much ironic humor abounds. Then we got there. Leave it to the fine folks in Marin to have a Rolls Royce dealership across the street from Denny's. Still, that didn't stop them from giving me the red carpet treatment.
• Our waitress, Marla, was pleased as punch to be part of our segment. She even recognized Branson (the cameraman). I think we made her a little nervous. Understandably so. But she was the epitome of good service. Perky, attentive, friendly, and prompt. I got the feeling she would have been that way even if the camera hadn't been there. But hoo-boy she sure did try to sell the camera on the Denny's in Corte Madera. As Dave (the Emmy-winning producer) said, "the service is so good, it's almost scary."
• The food, as is to be expected by a Denny's really trying to look good on television, was possibly the best I've ever tasted at a Denny's. The omelette was light and fluffy and just packed with veggies. The grits were a nice consistency. As Omar (the chauffeur) noted, however, the orange juice was rather watered down. But Craig (the chase-car driver) said it was the best Denny's he'd ever been to in Marin county.
• All in all, a good Denny's with which to start the day.
• WAY: Yes (Terry, no longer employed)
• Free Stuff: Three (3) Sets of Power Rings, Two (2) Daytime Menus, Three (3) Keychains, One (1) Grand Slam Slugger Pin, One (1) Personalized Name Tag

Denny's #0482 Tulsa, Oklahoma 18-Mar-96, 2:00am CST 11720 E. 11th St. at I-44 (918) 437-3586

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Angela
• What we ate: P7A77 - Seasoned Fries w/BBQ sauce, Coke; Amie - Coke
• Our waitress never seemed to quite get the hang of us, which is odd for a graveyard shift worker. They're usually used to freaks and weirdos, and I would think that they'd be relieved that we weren't the big burly drunk variety of freaks and weirdos, but rather the friendly happy hippie sort. Anyway, she seemed intrigued overall, and practically hovered over us as we ate. Maybe she liked the way we smelled after being in a stuffy van for 18 hours. It was a bitch to get free stuff out of them, and even though we tried to get an orange juice carafe, we had to settle for some styrofoam take-out boxes. The Coffee "Vacket" was cool, tho'.
• WAY: Yes (Jehad "Jijo" - unit aide [not quite a manager, but close])
• Free Stuff: Take-out Menu, Styrofoam Box and Cup, Denny's Coffee "Vacket"

Denny's #0492 Phoenix, Arizona 23-May-97, 5:20pm MST 2801 N. Black Canyon (602) 252-3745

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Anna, Steve
• What we ate: P7A77 - Moons Over My Hammy with Mayonnaise, Hashbrowns, Coke; Amie - Chicken Quesadilla with no Guacamole and extra Sour Cream, Coke
• Even though I had Anna make a special trip to get the mayonnaise for my sandwich, I forgot to put it on until I was almost finished. I was probably distracted by the ham, which was in the process of scalding the hell out of my tongue. Ironically, the hashbrowns were perfect - a rarity in the world of Denny's hashbrowns, as I'm sure many of you are aware.
• And if you were wondering why I was in Phoenix in the first place... well, it was my first stop on my way to glorious Las Vegas, Nevada, where I was planning on visiting my one-hundredth Denny's for this project! Woo woo! More on that later.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Menu Insert

Denny's #0495 Reno, Nevada 1 October 2005 11:45am PDT 680 N. Wells Ave. (775) 322-9039

• Attendees: P7A77, Scott
• Wait-person(s): Allie
• What we ate: P7A77: Grand Slam (eggs scrambled), water; Scott: Fabulous French Toast Platter, Large Orange Juice, Coffee
• And so back to Reno and poker. I was riding high on all my recent wins at smaller casinos and home games, so figured I was unstoppable. My first few hours in town confirmed this. Did what I expected, was able to pay my share of room and gas immediately. Nice start, gonna be a good weekend.
• Ha. I'll spare the gory details, but suffice to say I played poorly, got pissed about it, and kept throwing money at it. This is what many affectionately refer to as "tilt". And what sucks is I knew I was doing it, but there was nothing else to do. The whole point of the trip was poker with no distractions, and I was already down heavy almost from the start. It was a horrible, gory, disgusting scene.
• I was able to finally settle the hell down and do a slow crawl at the Eldorado for the long haul. I was doing pretty well at it, not going up too much, but not going down, either. Then the table rotated and some drunk guy who kept getting drunker decided I was his buddy, and I was too tired to realize I was getting distracted. I didn't lose to him, but I lost to others, and he won a lot. He had a good drunk style, and yes, I believe it was for real. He seemed to like to drink enough to have his drunk late night techniques worked out. Can't really blame him, it was my own fault for losing, but oh well. Next morning was even more pain and suffering. Thankfully we were scheduled to leave that evil stinky place.
• At the concierge I politely inquired as to the location of Denny's. The guy got a bit of a snooty look. Uh, hello dude, this is Circus Circus, you're not exactly high brow. So the guy tells me there's a Carrow's near by. Okay, nice, where's the Denny's? Well, as it turns out, if I go down such-and-such street and get to the Carrow's, if I turn left, Denny's will be another block down. I confirm the directions, omitting the landmark reference. He says again, "yeah, it's right by the Carrow's." Okay, guy, I get it. Don't judge me!
• I arrived at Denny's an empty man. Don't we all, at one point or another? Scott, on the other hand, was the big winner of the weekend, yay for him. The Denny's itself was standard. A waitress came up to us, looked at us, smiled, and walked to the table next to us without a word. Nice. Once the staff determined we were good enough to dine with them (what, they think they're Carrow's or something?), the waitress they sent over was very smiley and friendly. I figured she was new. You can tell who has the life-force sucked out of them from prolonged exposure to Denny's clientele. Besides, with the turnover at most of these places, practically everyone is a trainee all the time. Everything old is new again.
• I had trouble finding the Grand Slam on the menu. There was the Lumberjack Slam, all shiny and photogenic, but no original Grand Slam. I got a bit panicky. I wanted to close out this suite of entries with the classic breakfast, but it was nowhere to be found. Plus, I was fairly broke, and a man's gotta eat. Allie ultimately pointed it out to me, way on the bottom in the corner, tiny little print. They sure don't want you buying the cheap stuff. Scott chose the Fabulous French Toast Platter over the not quite as fey as the French Toast Slam... well, okay, they're more or less on par there. He remarked that they were, indeed, fabulous, sister. Snap.
• Again, they were way too busy to deal with my questions. I hate weekend morning shift.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #0525 Schiller Park, Illinois 8 March 1999 5:00pm CST 4824 N. River Rd., near airport (847) 678-5556

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Salvador
• What we ate: P7A77 - Chicken Quesadillas (no guacamole, extra sour cream), Coke; Amie - Mozzarella Sticks, Water
• After we placed our order and Salvador left our table to enter it in the computer, he returned to ask me if I wanted tomatoes and peppers in my quesadillas. I wasn't aware that this was an optional item. But I told him that, yes, I would like everything except for guacamole. Amie pointed out to me (after he left again) that he had gangbanger tattoos on his arm. She said that the waitress at the previous Denny's also had them. I'm not sure what gangbanger tattoos are supposed to look like, so I just believed her and didn't question how she knew this. This Denny's took the longest with our food out of any of the Denny's we visited on this trip, and we only got appetizers. Finally, the manager (not Salvador) delivered our food, but he first took it to a different table. My quesadillas were soggy and had guacamole.
• Salvador brought us our check, but we told him that we wanted to order some lemon merengue pie. He went off to get the pie. A long while later he came back and told us that he forgot to get the pie. Then a while later he came back and told us they were out of it. It seems that every time I order it, they're out. So we got keylime. Salvador finally delivered the pie and looked at our check several times. Then he left. I figured, hey, free pie. But as we went to the register, he remembered and charged us for it. Damn.
• The reason we were in this area in the first place was that I was going to be flying back to Tucson that night. That made me sad, because as it so happened, March 8 was our first wedding anniversary. On the way to the Denny's I saw an iMac bus, so that made me a bit happier. Those who know me know why I find the merging of those two things especially fun and good.
• But the real adventure came after the Denny's. For those who don't know or don't remember, the weekend I was in Chicago was the weekend of the big freak snowstorm that hit the area. Remember how I was complaining about how cold it was? Well, getting eight inches of snow didn't lift my spirits any. Actually, it seems that whenever I go on a trip these days, some sort of weather disaster happens. When I went to Miami, hurricane Georges hit. When I went to Atlanta, it was unseasonably cold and rainy, and now a blizzard. I'm telling ya, people should pay me not to go places. Anyway, even though I knew the blizzard was imminent, like the moron I am I didn't call ahead to see if the flight schedule was altered. My flight was cancelled. The storm hit when we were in the airport, so we got to make the drive back to Aurora in fresh snow during rush hour. What is usually a 40 minute drive tops expanded into several hours. We got to watch trucks spin out of control in front of us. Happy freakin' anniversary.
• But aside from the stress of driving in a snowstorm, I was very happy to be able to spend an extra day with Amie. Yay!
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: All Dogs table display (stolen)

Denny's #0533 Joplin, Missouri 17-Mar-96, 9:10pm CST 3602 Range Line Rd., I-44 exit 8-B (417) 781-8724

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Saundra
• What we ate: Nothing
• Nothing much to say about this Denny's, except that we slept in the parking lot for a few hours before pushing on forth into Oklahoma. We were very happy that nobody broke into our van and killed us. If you don't want to get killed while sleeping in a Denny's parking lot, this is the place to go.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Denny's greeting card

Denny's #0611 Dayton, Ohio 6-Jul-96, 10:00pm EDT 1135 S. Main, across from Montgomery Fairgrounds (513) 228-2716

• Attendees: P7A77, John "Adder" Fink, J-R Little, Kasey Princell
• Wait-person(s): Julie
• What we ate: P7A77 - Delidinger, Hash Browns, Coffee; Adder - Southern Slam, Eggs Scrambled; J-R - Club Sandwich; Kasey - Ultimate Omelet, Biscuit, Coffee
• The goal was to go to the Springfield Denny's and then to Rocky Horror in Dayton, but the bus started to overheat on the way, so we had to cut our trip short. We were already running late, and since I was performing that night in the show, we couldn't afford to waste time. We decided to go to Springfield another time, and went to this Denny's instead (which we were planning on going to after the show). The whole staff was in some sort of crazy goofy mood. They were very friendly and let me call Mary the manager in Springfield to let her know that we wouldn't be able to be there that night (she was waiting for us). When she found out who we were calling, Julie (out waitress) raved and raved about her (Mary). A different Mary - this one a trainer at this Denny's - turned out to be the sister of Susan at the Centerville Denny's. It's all just one big happy family. Our Weird Al of the evening, Tina (who is also our first female Al), apparently had dropped a sandwich in some split pea soup earlier in the evening. Mary (the trainer) also dropped and broke a glass while we were there. If you go to this Denny's, don't take anything valuable with you.
  The whole staff was greatly amused by our quest. As it turns out, the Centerville Denny's had phoned ahead to let them know that we would be there after Rocky Horror (which was our original plan), and they were surprised to see us there so early. (always keep 'em guessing, that's what I say) They dubbed us "Denny's Bums" and gave us nothing but a friendly attitude and great service.
• WAY: Yes - Tina
• Free Stuff: Undetermined (I forgot to write it down)

Denny's #0661 Indianapolis, Indiana 17-Mar-96, 11:40am CDT 5251 West Bradbury, near Airport, off Airport Exwy. at Executive (317) 247-4117

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Laura and Rachel (twins)
• What we ate: Nothing
• This Denny's was quite busy as well, and I still hadn't quite adjusted to the fact that I was attending Denny's during the day. I was able to corner Laura and Rachel (the twins) into answering my questions, though. They were a bit frightened, but generally amused. They gave me a Denny's travel directory, and a Denny's PR pamphlet regarding the allegations of racism a couple of years ago.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Travel Directory, Denny's FAQ

Denny's #0677 St. Louis, Missouri 17-Mar-96, 3:30pm CST 1515 S. Hampton Ave, I-44 & Hwy 40, near Zoo (314) 645-1754

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Dade
• What we ate: P7A77 - $1.99 Grand Slam (eggs o/e), Wheat Toast, Coffee, Large Orange Juice; Amie - $2.99 Burger Basket, Fries, Water
• This Denny's was exceptionally busy, especially considering the time of day it was. Maybe all the green beer from St. Patrick's Day was making everyone hungry for Grand Slams. Then again, maybe not. It took a while to get service, and Dade, our waiter, was a bit boring at first. He warmed up later on, though. He was the Weird Al lookalike of this Denny's, and when we asked if he was a manager, he said he turned down the position because he didn't want to work 60 hours a week for a measly $22,000 a year. What a guy. It's good to hold on to your ideals like that. This Denny's also had a Baskin' Robbin's inside. It was also the first Denny's that had a waiter (as opposed to a waitress) since I started this quest.
• WAY: Yes (Dade)
• Free Stuff: Flagstar Brand Vomit Clean-Up Kit (complete with bio-hazzard bag)

Denny's #0690 Arlington, Texas 19-Mar-96, 9:20pm CST 515 N. Watson, Hwy 360 exit Watson Rd. (817) 640-6050

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Loree Parker, Richard Pruitt
• Wait-person(s): Carissa (waitress) and Robert Walker (manager)
• What we ate: Nothing
• Robert is perhaps the best Weird Al match so far. Sure, he's fatter and balder, but he has the moustache, the glasses, the goofy look, and the attitude. He also gave us our first orange juice carafe. What a guy.
• WAY: Yes (Robert Walker - manager)
• Free Stuff: "Pedro" Pin, Orange Juice Carafe

Denny's #0717 Glen Ellyn, Illinois 6 March 1999 3:40pm CST 750 E. Roosevelt Rd., 1/2 mi. west on I-355, exit Roosevelt (630) 469-3080

• Attendees: P7A77 - Keylime Pie, Water; Amie - Coffee
• Wait-person(s): Jamie
• What we ate: P7A77 & Amie - Keylime Pie
• We sat at the counter and I spotted a label in the pie rack for strawberry rhubarb. Yay! Alas, the labels lie. They didn't have it. So I ordered keylime. Still good, but not as good as strawberry rhubarb, which I've actually never seen served in Denny's. Must've been discontinued ages ago. If this is the case, it's my opinion that it, like the Garden Fresh Skillet before it, should be brought back.
• We thought Jamie would be kind of cool and fun, but it turned out he was a bit on the slow side. Oh, well. On the good side, when we asked if there was an employee who looked like WAY, Jamie just said, "Oh, Dwayne?"
• The manager seemed a bit lethargic, and in retrospect, I think it might have been Manager Lee. Those who know this Denny's should know what I mean.
• I should perhaps take the extra space in this brief review to mention that Amie was in Aurora on business and I flew in to visit. Our initial plan was to spend the weekend in Chicago visiting various architectural sites, but the both of us had hell-awful weeks at our respective jobs, so we ended up sleeping most of the day and not even getting within the city limits until it was dark. We weren't really feeling in a Project:Denny's sort of mood anyway. I blame the snow.
• WAY: Dwayne
• Free Stuff: Harlem Globetrotters Adventure Pack

Denny's #0718 Miamisburg, Ohio 6-Jul-96, 5:50pm EDT 7990 Springsboro Pike, next to Dayton Mall (513) 433-5056

• Attendees: P7A77, John "Adder" Fink, J-R Little, Kasey Princell
• Wait-person(s): Tanya
• What we ate: P7A77 - Seasoned Fries with BBQ Sauce, Root Beer with Cherry Sauce; Adder - Southern Slam, Eggs Scrambled, Water; J-R - Root Beer Float, Fries (split with Kasey); Kasey - Root Beer Float, Fries (split with J-R)
• This was the first Denny's trip in over three months, so we were rather excited about it. Unfortunately, the staff at Denny's didn't seem to share our enthusiasm. We all knew what we wanted to eat (of course), but the hostess ignored my request to not have a menu. I tried to ask her a few questions, but she didn't seem too inclined to answer them. Tanya, our waitress, was a bit friendlier, as she had only been working there a week and didn't know any better. We made her slightly nervous. For some undisclosed reason, we had quite an extensive wait before we saw even our beverages. It should be noted that the waitress did not approve of my particular blend of root beer and cherry sauce. This disapproval was exemplified by the fact that she charged me SIXTY FIVE cents for the cherry sauce. I've always gotten it for free and wasn't able to talk them out of charging me. To their credit, they did get a bit friendlier towards the end, even though they still charged me for the cherry sauce. They refused to give us anything for free, so we took a discarded steel pole (with some concrete still on the end) that was sitting by the dumpster.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Pole (stolen)

Denny's #0816 Springfield, Missouri 17-Mar-96, 7:45pm CST 2823 Glenstone, I-44 exit 80-A, right on first service road (417) 866-1921

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coke with cherry sauce; Amie - Coke
• We had been on the road for almost twelve hours (including stops) by the time we got here, and we were getting a bit tired. Our evening was brightened, though, by a large family sitting near us. They seemed rather put off by my choice in hair colouring, and were pointing and laughing. I thought about getting a picture with them, but not only were they large in number, they were also large in size, so I opted to instead get a photo with my soda.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Minute Maid Pin

Denny's #0823 Langhorne, Pennsylvania 13 August 2004 11:00am EDT 640 E. Lincoln Hwy. (215) 757-1115

• Attendees: P7A77, Lindee
• Wait-person(s): Josephine
• What we ate: P7A77: Veggie Cheese Omelette, Hashbrowns, English Muffin, Water; Lindee: Philly Melt, Seasoned Fries, Water
• So the guitarist for my favoritest band in the whole wide world - Phish - decided, "hey, I don't feel like practicing or playing well any more, so let's just break up." I, being a slobbering fanboi, immediately booked passage to the last leg of their last tour EVAR. Two shows outside of Boston, one outside of Philadelphia, and a two-day festival in northern Vermont. I reserved a fast car with no top for the trip from Philly to the festival, and I secured my plane tickets, but outside of that I was winging it. Well, I had plans to meet up with various people who promised me transportation, but we all know how those things usually work out.
• Took the redeye from Oakland to Boston, where I met up with prak, a gentleman who fears his soul will be sucked out of his eye sockets should his face be captured on film. I had never met him in person before (and obviously hadn't seen a photo), so how was I to recognize him at the airport? I looked for the guy who seemed prak-ish in nature, of course. It helped that he was wandering around in a prak-like manner looking for me. It helped more that he was late and I was the only person sitting at baggage claim. It helped still yet even more that he was one of the elite few who received a Project: Denny's t-shirt and chose to wear it (and as you can tell from the faded yellow in the photo, he's worn (or at least washed) it a lot). I was wearing my old-skool Denny's logo shirt, so we must've looked like a convention. A scary, greasy, borderline serial killer convention.
• It was a beautiful weekday morning in Boston, and I had never been, so we wandered around downtown a bit. And lemme tell ya something... Bostonians (at least the white collar workforce) are a grumpy bunch. I don't understand it. They get to walk around one of our oldest and most charming cities on a gorgeous day, and they're all scowling. I smilled at everyone I could, and not one returned it. Maybe I've been made soft by left coast living, because people in the SF Bay area smile back! They say hello! They acknowledge your existence! I mean, if YOU saw a tall happy dude with a giant backpack lumbering down the street with a big dopey grin, wouldn't you at least be mildly amused? Not these folks. Oh well. Who needs 'em! They don't even have a Denny's anywhere nearby. Maybe that's why they're grumpy.
• Lacking Denny's, we traveled by bus, foot, and train to Sunny's Diner, a little hole in the wall behind a gas station near one of those higher learning institutes they have out there. For some reason they have Simpson's memorabilia plastered everywhere. For some other reason, I didn't get photos of any of it. I had the spinach and feta omelette; prak the Gentle Giant. It was all delicious.
• From there prak hung out with me at the train station where I kicked his ass at Gin Rummy before boarding the commuter line down to Mansfield, a city with no Denny's, and the site of the first shows. I had plans to meet up with two random dudes who were giving me lodging and a ride to Philadelphia, Nick and Willly. Note the "what the fuck?" look Willy shot me. I like that about him the best. We hung out in the lot and commenced lot-type activities. After grabbing the obligatory New England Phish show Hood photo, we went into the venue. Lodging for the night was Willy's girlfriend Noah's house in Providence (another town with no Denny's), where I slumbered on the most uncomfortable couch in the world, at least for someone of my rather lengthy frame trying to sleep. There was also a notable lack of hot water. Good times. And I mean that sincerely. My hosts were quite gracious and even warmed up to my Clif Bars after a while. Or at least pretended to.
• Time to geek out for a minute here. I'd been going to Phish shows for ten years, and I had never seen my favorite "small" song, Suzy Greenberg. I plugged all my shows into a site that tracks stats, and it was top of the list of songs I should have seen already, with a 1.8% likelihood of not having seen it based on whatever it is they base those things on. Since all my stories have happy endings, astute readers not bored to tears by my Phish blathering have probably figured out that they busted out with it in Mansfield. Second night, second song, and it just tore shit up. My first Suzy, the last Suzy. As soon as the first notes started up, my undivided attention was on the music, grin solidly planted on face. Tight, fun version, with a little "curtain call" reprise afterwards. A fitting final version of the song, and I was pleased to get it out of the way so I wouldn't be itchy about it for the rest of the tour. Oh, and I totally called the Antelope second set opener.
• And now the plans started to fall apart. Nwickilly were skipping the Camden show and heading straight up to Vermont. They were willing to give me a ride to Philly anyway, in exchange for my extra ticket for the sold-out festival, but getting out of the lot that second night was insane. Nobody was moving and time was ticking down. To cut to the chase, we woke up some people to check transit schedules and prices, and I ended up taking Amtrak from Providence to Philadelphia, the commuter rail from there to the airport, then a taxi to the Motel 6. As I was checking in, the woman at the counter asked if I was there for the show, and put me in a room next to other people in town for same. And it was even room 420, dude. Well, okay, room 421. Close enough for a silly reference. And check this out, the motel was right next to a Denny's! Bet ya thought I wouldn't get around to that, eh? Well, hold your horses because I didn't eat there yet.
• Taking advantage of my room placement, I hit up the guys next door (Justin, Dylan, and Kibbel... I may be wrong on that last one... at least I hope so) for a ride to the show, which they gladly gave me in exchange for my purchasing for them some beverages of a certain distilled nature. Lordy, but I'm getting old. They regaled me with tales of cooking moonshine in the hills of West Virginia and seemed in awe of my first shows, as they've become historically significant. Lordy, but I'm getting old. They happened to be from Beckley, which is the town where Das Büs broke down and required a new transmission back in the day. It's also the name of my cat. I lost track of them in shakedown street, so I picked up a new pipe (going out of business sale! everything must go!) and headed in. I didn't take my camera that day, which sucked because the venue was right on the waterfront, with a beautiful view of the bridge and Philadelphia skyline. At one point I saw a woman taking photos and freaked her out because she thought I was busting her for having a camera, but no, I just wanted her to take a shot and send it to me. The file name she assigned was "who is this guy.jpg". You can't see the bridge or skyline, but you can see me doing I don't even know what with my hands.
• After the show I wandered around the lot advertising gas money and a free meal at Denny's for anyone willing to give me a ride. Tim and Sam took me up on my offer and proceeded to get lost driving around New Jersey until we finally made our way over the bridge. Bet ya think I'm going to talk about Denny's now, right? Shows what you know, because they merely accepted gas money and went on their way. I hung out with the Beckley guys for a bit and then took full advantage of having a mattress for a change.
• Next morning I shared a cab with a guy to the airport, where I was meeting up with Lindee and renting a car for the trip to Vermont. And one of the first things we did was... wait for it... EAT AT DENNY'S. I had the veggie omelette to celebrate the veggie burritoness of the lot scene. The english muffin was for New England. Lindee's Philly melt for obvious reasons. And all of this I'm just making up right now. My hashbrowns were raw and the english muffin wasn't toasted. What the meal lacked in quality it at least made up for in quantity. They get bonus points for garnishing with parsley. As this was my first Denny's trip in almost two years, I was out of practice and forgot to get any photographs. We snagged one in the parking lot.
• See? And you thought I'd never get around to the Denny's part. Have faith in me, dear reader. I may tease, but I know where your g-spot is.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Summer Deal Menu Insert

Denny's #0825 Oak Park, Illinois 6 March 1999 5:35pm CST 711 N. Harlem Ave. (708) 386-6964

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Mike (manager)
• What we ate: P7A77 - French Fries (to go)
• Amie sat in the car, so she doesn't get credit for this trip. I wasn't terribly hungry, so I just got french fries to go. There were a bunch of poorly colored leprechauns pasted on the Mother Butler display. While I was waiting for my order, two people walked in (not together) for the sole purpose of using the phone. Seemed a bit odd at the time. I noticed that this Denny's closes at midnight. Stinking bastards.
• But that's not important. What is important is that we had a great time hanging out with Josh (formerly "The Bear"), Chad, JCR3, and Jern. Josh has got a pretty fun apartment in the "Ukranian" part of Chicago. Here is a picture of Amie navigating the cold icy stairs. It's worth noting here that Josh and Chad, who were big social revolutionaries in college, now currently have the most corporate sellout jobs of us all. Actually, that's probably not true, but it seems that way because of how vocal they were at the time. Real Life will do that to ya.
• The big fun of this trip was the morning breakfast at Daisy's. It was suggested that I do a Project:Daisy's page, but I forgot to get photos inside the restaurant. Standard greasy spoon sort of fare. I had the chipped beef and eggs. I wasn't sure what chipped beef was, but it sounded good. I'm still not sure. I think it might just be hamburger meat cooked to taste like sausage. I tried to order biscuits and gravy, but everyone else yelled at me when I mentioned it. They pointed at the big sign that said they serve biscuits and gravy 'til 11am and that they cost $2.50. Okay, fine, I was okay with paying the $2.50. But then someone pointed out that it was well past 11am. Damn. I was really looking forward to them, too.
• For some reason, the waitress decided that I really like ashtrays, because she kept pushing them in my direction. I think I had three or four by the end of the meal. I wasn't even smoking. The cook had a bit of a cold. She coughed into her hand and then proceeded to pick up food. Fabulous. I would definitely eat there again.
• And if you really feel the need to see a photo of this Denny's, here it is. But trust me - it looks the same as two thousand other Denny's in the world.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: take-out menu (lousy, but appropriate)

Denny's #0827 Kingsman, Arizona 23-May-97, 9:30pm MST 3255 Andy Devine (602) 757-2028

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Lori
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coffee; Amie - Water
• Finally, a Denny's of which to be proud! Our waitress, Lori, was a smartass to us from the get go. When we asked where we were ('cause after a few hours on a desert highway, we weren't too sure), she first said "I don't know - you tell me," but quickly followed with "You're in hell." We liked her from the start. The place was pretty busy for what seemed to be a fairly small city, and was populated with a decent cross-section of society. It may have been hell, but with the surroundings and endless refills of coffee, I was happy there.
• As I was sitting and drinking my coffee, I saw that they were serving a large number of dinner items. And, as we all know, a large number of dinners means a large number of dinner rolls. I thought I might try my hand at sweat-talking them into giving me something substantial, since I was practically fed up with kids menus and crayons. I offered Lori a quarter if she'd snag me one. She refused. Then I struck up a conversation with Kurtis, the bus-boy. He said he would be willing to, but it was his first night there and he didn't want to get in trouble so soon. So I worked on Lori some more. She was about to reach into the warmer and snag one for me, but at the last minute she lost her nerve. Then, finally, my savior. Another waitress, Sheri, walked by and I offered her the quarter that Lori refused to earn. Well, not only did she do that, but she went and got me butter, too! Yee-haw, Sheri! You're one of the good ones!
• It was the best dinner roll I've ever tasted.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Dinner Roll, Butter, OJ Carafe Insert

Denny's #0844 Phoenix, Arizona 04 February 2001 3:07pm MST 9030 N. Black Canyon Hwy. (6020) 944-7970

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Bill (manager)
• What we ate: nothing
• I walked in and was pleased as punch because I saw the manager, Bill, and he was a definite WAY. He was helping a customer, but he glanced up at me and got this little grin on his face. But he seems the type to always have a grin on his face, so I thought nothing of it.
• Then it was my turn to be helped. I started to go into my bit, and Bill asked me if I had that web page. !!! Nobody has EVER recognized me from the pages. Well, okay, I did get recognized at Macworld SF 2001, but I was wearing my jacket with all my Denny's pins and I had a big name tag that said "P7A77", so it only sort of counts. But I wasn't wearing anything to tip him off, and he seemed to recognize me before I even started asking questions. And to be recognized by the WAY of the visit is just icing on the cake.
• I think my excitement over all of this is a big blinking neon sign with sirens and fireworks that I need to find another hobby.
• WAY: Bill (manager)
• Free Stuff: Denny's Cap

Denny's #0845 Villa Park, Illinois 6 March 1999 4:20pm CST 202 W. North Ave., 1/2 mile west of Rt. 83 (630) 279-1379

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Ramero, Naz
• What we ate: nothing
• This Denny's had a bit of a bad layout. Lots of wasted space in the lobby. Ramero didn't speak English very well, so he passed us on to Naz, who tried to give us a crayon and a kids menu, but we held our ground, so after he went in the back room for a while, he eventually gave us a funky-styled name tag out of him. In spite of the time, we didn't smoke some tasty bud.
• Continuing with the visiting Chicago train of thought, even tho' our plan to visit the city went unfulfilled, we were also meeting up with friends of ours. A friend of mine from college (and co-founder of Project:Denny's) now lives in Chicago, and other friends were up visiting, so we were going to catch up with each other and relive our youth. Standard recent-graduate sort of stuff.
• WAY: undetermined (they didn't know who WAY was)
• Free Stuff: Name Tag

Denny's #0853 Springfield, Ohio 13-Jul-96, 10:00pm EDT 2209 S. Limestone St. (513) 324-3320

• Attendees: P7A77, John "Adder" Fink, J-R Little, Phil Stewart, JT Tartarra, Jan Warren, Rachel Weidinger, Josh Wyen
• Wait-person(s): Kera and Carol
• What we ate: P7A77 - Super Bird, Seasoned Fries with BBQ Sauce, Root Beer with Cherry Sauce, Coffee; Adder - Southern Slam, Eggs Scrambled, Coke; J-R - Denny Burger Combo, Seasoned Fries, Caesar Salad, Sprite; Phil - Shrimp Dinner, Corn, Water; JT - Play It Again Slam, Eggs Over Easy, Hash Browns, Large Orange Juice; Jan - Denny Burger Combo, Garden Salad with Ranch Dressing, Water; Rachel - Grilled Cheese, Fries, Vegetable Soup, French Vanilla Coffee; Josh - Super Bird with Extra Tomato, Seasoned Fries with BBQ Sauce, Coffee, Water
• We finally made it to Springfield! Better late than never, I suppose. We loaded the bus up with a fresh crowd, went to Adventure Golf again, then headed straight to Springfield - no stops. Mary (the manager) was wise this time and didn't wait there for us, so we tried to give her a call. Unfortunately, the hostess (Kera) wouldn't give me Mary's phone number. I suppose that wise for security reasons, but I'm a nice enough guy. No matter, because Carol (our waitress, who bore a striking resemblance to Phil Donahue) knew what was up and gave Mary a call.
  This is an old-style Denny's (the best kind, as far as I'm concerned), and the staff reflected that sort of charm that you expect to go along with that. Once Mary showed up, she took us all to the back of the store where she presented us with not one toilet.. not two toilets.. but two toilets AND a sink. Wow. They had recently remodeled the employee washroom and had this stuff lying around. Mary and her friend (who went by the moniker "Truck") were both good ol' Harley-Davidson kind of folks. As if the toilets weren't enough, the whole trip was worth it just to hear a large bearded man wearing a Harley shirt and named 'Truck" say something to the effect of "I wanna see this online soon." Break those stereotypes! Yee-ha! All kidding aside, I'm the last one to judge by appearance (unless the appearance is that of a clean-cut beer-drinkin' date-rapin' frat-boy type, but hey.. nobody's perfect), and Mary and Truck were both great. (Plus, I know they're going to read this, and Truck is significantly larger than I am.)
  It should also be noted that the sausage and gravy were very good (according to Adder), and this Denny's actually had parsley (a garnish that is becoming increasingly rare at Denny's).
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: two toilets and a sink

Denny's #0864 Ann Arbor, Michigan 26-Oct-96, 1:00am EDT 3310 Washtenaw Rd., off Rt. 23 (313) 971-0090

• Attendees: P7A77, Ken Apel, Angelique DuPres, Cindi Fountain, Drew Milcdajczyk, Chris Moore, Jim
• Wait-person(s): N/A
• What we ate: N/A
• After loading up the bus with props and hanging around in an apartment in Ann Arbor for a while with a group of people each of whom were on one illicit drug or another, we decided to go to Denny's and satiate our hungry stomachs. We figured, hey, it's before bar time, it's a double college town, it's a Friday night... no problem gettin' food at Denny's. But no. As we were walking up to the front door, we saw a Denny's employee walking to the door from the inside. She taped a note up to the door. She locked the door.
  The note said "Closed Due to Maintenance - Sorry. Thank you, Management". They were fucking CLOSED. Do you understand me? The place that promises to be ALWAYS OPEN was CLOSED. It would be one thing if this was in a tough crime area and they always closed on the weekends, but it was in fucking Ann Arbor, Michigan, home of Hash Bash, and it was CLOSED. Not because of a bomb threat. Not because they were spraying for bugs. Not because they were being held up. They were MOPPING the fucking FLOORS on a FRIDAY night. The bastards.
  I was able to yell through the door and find out the Denny's #, but I could't get her to tell me about "Weird Al". We hung around and waited for one of the lucky customers (those who were able to get in before this abomination to Denny's locked its doors) left, then we reached inside the door, grabbed the sign that the manager had put up, and high-tailed it back to Toledo.
  This was probably the only time in my life I was actually happy to be leaving Ann Arbor.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: "Closed for Maintenance" sign (stolen)

Denny's #0866 Cincinnati, Ohio 14-Feb-97, 9:50pm EST 3320 Highland Ave., off I-71 at Ridge Ave. N (513) 731-5751

• Attendees: P7A77, Adder, Dan Mess, Aaron Yonka
• Wait-person(s): Teresa, Dietra
• What we ate: P7A77 - Charlston Chicken Sandwich, Seasoned Fries w/BBQ Sauce, Coffee, Water; Adder - Moons Over My Hammy, Coffee, Water; Dan - Delidinger, Biscuits and Gravy, Coffee, Water; Aaron - Chicken Fried Steak and Eggs (scrambled) with lots of pepper, White Toast, Large Orange Juice, Water
• Before moving to Arizona permanently, I paid one last visit to my alma mater. Besides, I still had one Denny's left in Cincinnati to hit. At first, the waitstaff was great, but our favorable opinion of them was quickly diluted by the fact that they never refilled our coffee. Thankfully, all was not lost. They eventually made a fresh pot just for us. Ain't they sweet?
  Adder, Aaron, and I have a friend who goes by the moniker "Ox". Ox is a spiffy fellow; in fact, OX ROX!!! While sitting at the restaurant, we made up all sorts of Ox jokes. Here are a few of them:
  • What does Ox keep stuff in? OX BOX!!!
  • Whom does Ox coach for football? OX JOCKS!!!
  • What does Ox wear on his head for a night on the town? OX FROCKS!!!
  • What does Ox use to wash his foot coverings? OX SOCKS CLOROX!!!
  • What sort of small plants does Ox have growing around his trees? OX PHLOX!!!
  You get the idea.
  When we got up to leave, we saw that, while we had one check, it was actually split up into separate checks. Sort of an itemized single check, but it was separate. Well, we thought it was interesting.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Motel Guide, Scarf, and Drink

Denny's #0871 Terre Haute, Indiana 17-Mar-96, 1:02pm CDT 3442 South US Hwy 41 (Denny's South) (812) 235-5739

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Indy
• What we ate: Nothing
• Indy, our waitress, mentioned that it was her first time on day shift, and that she was usually a graveyard worker, so there was a sort of an instant bond there, but she was still a bit frightened and confused nonetheless. Regardless, it helped to adjust me to the fact that it was sunny out, since I was still trying to get used to that fact. We were able to get a name tag out of them.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: "Dexter" Name Tag

Denny's #0893 Phoenix, Arizona 04 February 2001 12:55am MST 5002 N. 7th St. (602) 279-7721

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Lisa (maybe)
• What we ate: P7A77 - Hashbrowns Covered & Smothered, Coffee, Water
• I've received a lot of emails about this place. They tell me it's called "The Gay Denny's" and that early morning hours provide drag shows and soap operas. I figured I had to make an appearance. I got there a little early (I figured things would start happening between 1:30 and 2am), so I settled into the counter and started a never ending cup of coffee.
• It was busy. Not wacky drag queen floor show busy, but busy nonetheless. Everyone was constantly moving. And the thing is, they seemed to know what they were doing. Customers were served quickly. People were in good spirits. It was a well-oiled machine. I doubt that certain other manager would get a crew to work like that. And my coffee was never empty.
• After about half an hour I decided to get some food. I wasn't very hungry because I had eaten a whole bunch of food earlier that day, so I just got hashbrowns. My waitress very effectively upsold me on Covered & Smothered. That crafty little lady. I say "my waitress" because even though the ticket said "Lisa", I heard them all calling someone else Lisa all night. I guess it's possible they were both named as such, but I don't recall my waitress ever turning her head when people called that name. Oh well.
• After a little over an hour of staring at the equipment behind the counter I decided it was time to leave. No major theatrics since I had been there. Lisa (?) told me that the fun really starts around 4am or so, but ain't no way I was hanging around that long. So to all of you who told me I must must must go to this Denny's... I went. I tried to be there at a time when I'd get some good photos, but it just wasn't to be. Oh, well. It still had a great vibe around the place, and definitely gets a recommendation.
• WAY: n/a (they got slammed right as I left, so I didn't ask)
• Free Stuff: n/a (see above)

Denny's #0897 Dayton, Ohio 6-Jul-96, 8:55pm EDT 3630 N. Dixie (513) 274-2481

• Attendees: P7A77, John "Adder" Fink, J-R Little, Kasey Princell
• Wait-person(s): Shannon
• What we ate: Nothing
• Nothing really of note here. We were just passing through on our way to the big prize of the evening in Springfield. They gave us a free business card. Whoopee.
• WAY: Yes - Richard (dishwasher)
• Free Stuff: Business Card

Denny's #1006 Madison, Wisconsin 2 October 2002 6:00pm CDT 1798 Theirer Rd. (608) 241-5061

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Unknown
• What we ate: Nothing
• The closer I got to Chicago, the more it rained. Why? Because when it's not raining when I visit, it's snowing. The people who live there insist the weather is good, but I'm convinced the constant sudden weather shifts have damaged their cognitive thinking. But we're not talking about Chicago, we're talking about Madison. It was yucky and drizzly.
• Hit the Denny's, where the unnamed waiter (yes I know he has a name tag, but my tape of the visit broke and I can't make it out on the photo) gave us what looks like a hair scrunchie and a sticker or piece of paper or Band-Aid (hey, I've gotten one before) or something. Who knows. Who cares. Oh, we stopped by a Frank Lloyd Wright building, but were too late for a tour.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Scrunchie and Sticker (I think)

Denny's #1013 Tempe, Arizona 9-Mar-97, 4:45pm MST 1343 W. Broadway at Priest (602) 966-3136

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Joe
• What we ate: Nothing
• Not only did this Denny's have a big rig in the parking lot, it was an older style store (but with a new sign). It was all green and yellow inside, not the crappy black and neon that the newer ones have. They even had a WAY. I tell you, this store is what Denny's is all about. Joe said that he had been working at this store for three months, but had worked at another one for a month, and yet another one for two years before that. That's dedication. He was nervous about just giving us something - what with the security cameras looking down at us - so he made as if he was going to seat us, walked us out of the view of the camera, and gave us an omelette menu. What a guy.
• WAY: Yes (Cook - Jerry)
• Free Stuff: America's Favorite Omelettes Menu

Denny's #1022 Richmond, Kentucky 19-Feb-96, approx. 2:30am Eastern By-Pass (606) 623-1706

• Attendees: P7A77, J-R Little, Josh Wyen, Chris Roehl
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: P7A77 - Ultimate Omelet, hash browns, toast with strawberry jam, coffee, and a large organe juice; J-R - Coffee (I forget what else); Josh - Orange juice (I forget what else); Chris - Seasoned Fries
• By the time we arrived here, I had already had about four mugs of coffee, and I hadn't eaten anything for about twelve hours. Needless to say, I was slightly wired. We liked the "diner" feel of this Denny's, and we were gettin' hungry, so we decided to eat a full meal. The service was excellent. It was the waitress' second day on the job, so we were able to convince her to give us all sorts of free stuff. I got a free refill of my large orange juice, Josh didn't even get charged for his, and I got some free hash browns without even having to ask for them. Plus, my omelet was goooooood. As to actual items, we got a plastic Denny's baseball cup.
• WAY: Yes ("Oh, you mean with big bushy bozo hair? Yeah, he works day shift.")
• Free Stuff: plastic Denny's sports cup

Denny's #1023 Scottsdale, Arizona 9-Mar-97, 3:05pm MST 3315 N. Scottsdale Rd. & Osbom (602) 946-4754

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Joanne, Angie
• What we ate: Nothing
• They gave me a little metal Denny's lapel pin! Wow! I wear it all the time. It's spectacularly stupendous. Spiffy, even. I accidentally walked out with one of their pens, tho'.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Denny's Lapel Pin (given), Pink Pen (stolen)

Denny's #1038 Las Vegas, Nevada 25-May-97, 11:40pm PDT 2201 W. Sahara Ave. (702) 873-3200

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): PJ
• What we ate: Nothing
• I'm sorry, little miss PJ, that you're working a shitty job on a weekend in Vegas, when you'd much rather be cocktail waitressing and pulling in the big bucks, but that's no excuse to be snotty to me. Not only do you refuse to give me anything, but you say you're going to get the manager and then go in the back... never to return. Who needs ya, anyway. Thtphtptht.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #1056 Las Vegas, Nevada 25-May-97, 10:50pm PDT 13081 S. Maryland Pkwy. (702) 734-1295

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): ...
• What we ate: Nothing
• We were just crusin' through, 'cause we were anxious to get to the Strip. That's 'bout it.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Omelet Menu

Denny's #1069 Tempe, Arizona 9-Mar-97, 4:10pm MST 4403 S. Rural Rd. at 60 Fwy. (602) 839-9392

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Misty
• What we ate: Nothing
• We had driven all around Tempe trying to find the other Denny's in the area, but to no avail. When we got here, we asked for directions to the other ones. Some random guy who was standing in line overheard us and answered all our navigational queries.
  We didn't eat anything this time, but we had been to this Denny's previously (I didn't have my notepad or camera with me), and just had a grand old time doing it. They're very friendly at this place. They also have a thick bullet-proof sheet of plexi-glass over the Denny's sign on the front wall.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Save the Children Pin

Denny's #1073 Essington, Pennsylvania 17 August 2004 8:30am EDT 47 Industrial Highway (610) 521-1077

• Attendees: P7A77, Lindee
• Wait-person(s): unknown
• What we ate: P7A77: Mini-Burgers, Water; Lindee: Lumberjack Slam, Coffee
• It was a dreary and exhausted drive back down to Philadelphia, where we stayed at the same Motel 6, which just happened to be on Rte. 420, dude. Fitting, considering the occasion. Lindee opted for the classic breakfast super-sized, better known as the Lumberjack Slam. I went with my own version of Lindee and P7 go to White Castle and after being assured I could get such things at eight in the morning, ordered up the "no sir, no trademark infringement here" Mini Burgers. This gives me hope that Denny's may some day offer chicken rings. I've touched on this topic before, but many people point to the chicken rings as a reason why White Castle is best avoided. I am not such a person; quite the opposite. Chicken products at any sort of similar establishment are over-processed garbage. White Castle is alone in standing up proud. They say, "look, we not going to lie, we know it's crap." It would be against the laws of nature for a chicken to grow in this shape. The rings get in your face with the sobering fact that you are considerably removed from the food's origin. To eat a chicken ring is to accept your place in the universe.
• I digress. When I ordered the Sliders... er, Mini Burgers, the waitress said they were good. Okay, yeah, Denny's food is usually edible in a comforting sort of way, but she was unnaturally into them, and even reiterated how much I was going to enjoy them when we were served. Obviously her dining experiences are limited if this is top on her list of cuisine worthy of gushing. But hey, I was exhausted after a week of camping, dancing, partying, and driving, and the platefulls of greasy food hit the spot. When I was ready to leave and briefly described this site while warming them up for swag, I was asked, "Why do you do this? Is this all that you do?" Like I wasn't already depressed about Phish breaking up. Way to cut to the bone there, Denny's staff.
• So what does one do after a show? Look over photos and reminisce about the experience, of course. Topmost of random joy for me was returning to the rest area and discovering we were parked behind the best Page shout-out of all, Cars Trucks Buses. Have I mentioned how much I love Page? Other random sightings include a controversial (and totally right-on) Hood sticker and a jug band with a kazoo. At one point the port-a-potties required a mounted police detail, which was amusing enough, but even better when the horse backed against one of the occupied stalls and a rather distressed woman, attempting to escape a tiny enclosed space piling over with the waste of thousands of stinky hippies on steady diets of grilled cheese and veggie burritos, unexpectedly found herself juxtaposed with a horse's ass pinning her in.
• My pal Siddhartha "Badass" Finch derives joy from ribbing me good-naturedly about shows, frequently saying things like "Thank you Trey" and posing inquiries on fairy wings. I thankfully didn't see any signs of the former, but I nearly wet myself with glee when I finally snagged a shot of the latter. And somewhere in New York you can purchase lesbians on sale for $2.99 (this week only). Yeah, you heard me. I'm not above the basest of cheap jokes.
• And that was it. Phish was over. If you'll allow me a moment of sentimentality, I'll attempt to capture the significance for me. They say music you listen to in your late teens is what will always strike that chord of nostalgia for you, and that's precisely when I was first encountered them. I was already a dorky white boy from the suburbs raised on classic rock, so it was practically inevitable. While the style of music isn't for everyone, anyone who gives the studio work a serious listen can't deny its complexity and creativity. This is what struck me first, when a friend played You Enjoy Myself in 1992. I have a musical background, and it affected me like nothing had previous. As is probably no surprise to anyone reading this site, I'm a bit of an obsessive personality, so I delved deep. Here was this fantastic music, largely instrumental, with the occasional borderline poetic but mostly goofy lyric. It was a mix of jazz, rock, bluegrass, and something else indescribable, not to mention a liberal touch of humor. It meshed with me perfectly. After a year of poring over their at the time limited catalog, someone slipped me a tape of a show, and a vastly deeper world opened up. There were a lot of the songs I knew, but they were so different! And wow, so many more equally great songs I had never heard before! They sometimes switched instruments! One of them played a vacuum cleaner and did bad covers of classic songs! They had a musical language for audience interaction and participation! They did an a cappella version of Freebird, for crying out loud! And they rocked. HARD.
• To be at a show was like nothing else. While there are structures to the songs, it was by and large improvisational. Even the composed sections varied from version to version. The setlists weren't mere collections of songs, they were entities to be taken as a whole. I was intimately familiar with the music, so I could follow along and anticipate changes, yet be surprised at the same time. I could hear hints and teases and pick up on traces of transitions that wouldn't come to fruition until sixty-four bars or more later. I felt them talking to each other musically, taking me along for the ride. And I was surrounded by thousands of people all there for the same reason, all experiencing the same thing, all of them the nicest people you ever could meet. The musicians were so in tune with each other, they moved as a unit, each of them leading and following, each constantly aware and respectful of what the others were doing. No two shows were the same, but they all built on each other. I heard songs grow and evolve over time. To be a part of that, feeling this music I loved being created before my eyes and ears, music that was simultaneously familiar and new, to be caught up in it was pure bliss, plain and simple.
• I'm idealizing a bit, as there were obvious problems that led to the break-up, but the good far outweighed the bad, and at its core, this is what it was to me. I can't listen to my recordings any more, it's affected me so deeply. And yeah, I know there are a lot of other bands out there, and I do enjoy them, but this is the one that became a part of me, and the one for which there will be no replacement. I'm sad it's over, and I'm regretful I wasn't able to attend more shows, but I'm incredibly thankful I was able to be a part of it when I was. The final show, with all the craziness, was magical. The parking lot on the freeway, the trekking for miles through farmland, the swamp of mud, the perseverance against all odds, the intense emotion from the band on that last day... all of this and much more contributed to a unique and wonderful experience, one I'm inadequately equipped to verbalize, but something I will cherish for as long as I have memory.
• And with that, I made the long journey home.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Coffee Mug

Denny's #1078 Mesa, Arizona 02 February 2001 9:05pm MST 2009 W. Main St. (480) 962-0372

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Diane
• What we ate: P7A77 - Cherry Pie
• Not the most eventful visit to end a rather drab trip, but better than some of the others. On a side note, I noticed that they offered a Quesadilla Skillet. Denny's hasn't had quesadillas on the menu for years. A shame since it was one of Amie's favorites. Did this mean they were back? I checked. Apparently not. So sad. I thought about trying to order a quesadilla and having them tell me they don't offer them and me saying that they have them on the skillet and them telling me that I can't get it separately and then me asking if I can do special orders and them saying yes and me ordering the quesadilla skillet but holding the skillet and them asking me where to hold it and... well, you know the rest. I didn't really want a quesadilla anyway.
• Denny's Fun Fact: A kind reader from Eugene, Oregon, informed me that the scene in question was filmed in a Denny's right there in her town. How 'bout that!
• WAY: James
• Free Stuff: Short Glass

Denny's #1082 Centerville, Ohio 6-Jul-96, 8:15pm EDT 6270 Far Hills Road, I-675 & Rt. 48 (513) 434-2230

• Attendees: P7A77, John "Adder" Fink, J-R Little, Kasey Princell
• Wait-person(s): Joseph and Heather
• What we ate: Free Samples of Barq's Root Beer
• After the rather dismal Denny's in Miamisburg, we all went to Adventure Golf in Centerville. After an especially adventurous game, we headed off to this Denny's and quickly found it to be the best one so far in this project. First off, it was the first Denny's I've visited that served alcohol. Secondly, they were friendly as all git-out right from the start, even though we said we weren't eating anything. They explained that they were bored out of their minds with the same-old same-old and that we were a burst of refreshment for them. Not only did they give us several free samples of root beer, and not only did they give us some Magic School Bus cups, but they gave us their very own Root Beer Float pins right off of their shirts. They also got a big kick out of the bus. Next time we plan on getting their shirts, too. (wink, wink)
• WAY: Yes - Nate (server)
• Free Stuff: Nestea coasters, Magic School Bus cups, Barq's Root Beer, RB Float pins, RB Float bumper sticker

Denny's #1048 Fenton, Missouri 17-Mar-96, 4:40pm CST 1096 S. Highway Drive (314) 343-1480

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Niki
• What we ate: Nothing
• I really don't remember anything from this Denny's, and quite franky, I was getting a bit sick of stopping every few minutes just to get some crappy free thing. At least the cook let me wear his hat for the photo.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Minute Maid Pin

Denny's #1049 Bowling Green, Kentucky 22-Mar-96, 3:40pm CST 4700 Scottsville Rd. (502) 782-9827

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Eric
• What we ate: Nothing
• It seems that Denny's with gift shops is a trend in Kentucky. This one had small knick-knacks for sale, as well as packaged candy (ie, gummy worms, gum drops, etc). Other than that, it sucked. They have no sense of humour at all. I did see a bulbous bouffant, tho'.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Kids Meal Menu

Denny's #1054 Lexington, Kentucky 19-Feb-96, approx. 1:00am 1880 Newton Pike (606) 233-1874

• Attendees: P7A77, J-R, Josh Wyen, Chris Roehl
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: Coffee
• Pretty quiet for a Denny's. There were hardly any customers, and the few people who were there were very quiet and subdued. Maybe it was something in the coffee. It took a while to get the waitress to give us anything, but once she realized the sort of thing we were after, she gave the item much consideration. At this particular Denny's, they sell Kentucky memorabilia. She gave us a window sticker. We were hoping for the little mini-broom shown in the picture. Ah, well. Next time.
  It should be noted that the waitress only had a few teeth, and those were severely darkened. We were hoping she'd smile big for the camera. Alas, she did not. She was quite friendly, tho'
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: "KENTUCKY" window sticker

Denny's #1123 Dallas, Texas 19-Mar-96, 12:50pm CST 7120 S. Cockrel Hill Rd., exit Camp Wistom, near Redbird Mall (214) 296-4033

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: Nothing
• This was the second and last Denny's on our trip from Arlington to Dallas. If you're from the area, you'll know why. I was originally planning on driving around the DFW area and hitting up the several dozen Denny's there, but after hitting 18 of them in 24 hours, I was getting pretty sick of them. I was also running out of money. So I opted instead to just visit all of the ones in Arlington that evening and then head on off to Memphis the next day.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Kids Menu Stickers, Some Funky Trippy Prism Thing (from the Lost-n-Found)

Denny's #1138 Lost Hills, California 12 October 2001 7:30am PDT I-5 & Highway 46 (661) 797-2606

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Berta
• What we ate: nothing
• Talk about Lost Hills. My Mapquest directions didn't include this one on our list (yes, we're that lame), even though our directions had us change roads at this exit, so this was a found Denny's. But I'd have to be an idiot to miss it, since I had to drive right in front of it. So not really "found" as much as "not missed".
• While I sat at the end of the exit ramp, waiting to turn, I noticed that, crossing the road in front of me, were two sheep! Just walking across the road! I supposed it was farm country out there, but it was a rather barren intersection, and it was just strange to see. Amie had been sleeping, and so was probably a little confused to be woken by me freaking out about barnyard animals while pulling off the interstate next to Denny's.
• I quickly parked and jumped out to get some photos, noticing that nobody else seemed terribly concerned about livestock wandering through traffic. I chalked it up to being a local thing, but Berta assured me that it had never happened before. While she was telling me that, yes, live grazing animals investigating their parking lot was not an occurance one was likely to witness regularly, she seemed not at all even slightly intrigued. She responded much as one would expect someone to respond as if I had walked calmly in there and informed her that the sky was blue and the moon wasn't made out of cheese. Now that I think about it, some strange slightly deranged person walking up to me and telling me basic well-agreed-upon facts of time and space would probably freak me out at least a tad, so my ranting and raving about large animals likely wasn't the norm for her, either. In that case, she handled herself quite well. Brava.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Menu

Denny's #1144 Los Angeles, California 10 June 2002 1:00pm PDT 5751 W Sunset Blvd (323) 464-8435

• Attendees: P7A77 and a bunch of other people
• Wait-person(s): Does it matter?
• Okay, people. I'm writing this entry a full two years after the visit. Suffice to say, this site has dropped off significantly in importance to me. Sorry, that's just the way it goes.
• However, this was a unique visit. In the ripe summer of 2002, I was but one lost soul in the swarms of the unemployed. Since I was trying to figure out the source of my next rent check, when an advertising firm in LA called and said they wanted to hire me for a one-day consultation gig, I was all over that. They flew me down there one morning to talk to them about Denny's. Apparently they were trying to pitch a new campaign and they wanted to test it out on me or pick my brain or something. It was me and a score of various marketing people sitting around a conference room with my site projected on the big display. I kept insisting that their target market was a bunch of broke stoned high school students and that I'm sort of a meta-observer of the thing and my site isn't really about Denny's anyway, but they were paying for lunch, so I did the best I could to be the sad clown dancing.
• As it was two years ago and I can't read my chicken scratch hand-writing in my notebook, I don't remember a lot of what was said. After the tenth time of them asking, "well what about this?" and me saying, "uh, dudes, I dunno," they were starting to share my original viewpoint that I'd be of no use to them, so we broke for lunch. This marks the first time I've been paid to go to Denny's. I'm now a professional! Good thing they changed the rules for the Olympics.
• I'm not even sure if the Denny's listed above is the one we went to, but it's one of three I have written down here as potentials to visit. Is this one the Rock & Roll Denny's? Aren't they all the same? We ate a lot of mediocre food and took a picture with Golden Orphan Annie (waitress since 1976!). Quote of the day: "The most nondescript thing I've ever tried to describe."
• I don't think they got the account.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: the entire trip

Denny's #1153 Phoenix, Arizona 04 February 2001 2:10pm MST 3456 W. Bethany Home Rd. (6020) 973-7716

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Anahi
• What we ate: P7A77 - Garden Scramble Skillet, Rye Toast, Coffee
• They don't have the Garden Fresh Skillet any more! It was much better than this "Garden Scramble" thing they have now. The former had big chunks of broccoli! It was good! Damn them! Maybe they'll bring it back again. They already removed and added it once before.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Baby Rattle from Lost & Found

Denny's #1155 Fairfax, Virginia 30-Nov-96, 4:00pm EST 9940 Lee Hwy., across from Hardee's (703) 273-8133

• Attendees: P7A77, Corpse, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: Nothing
• The sign outside had the new logo, the sign on the wall had the old logo, and the frosted glass partitians inside had the old logo.
  Much as in the other store in Fairfax, nobody in here seemed to speak English terribly well. I couldn't seem to get across the concept that I was just passing through and that I wanted something for free. The gentleman behind the counter kept telling me that he would call the head office and for me to come back in a week. Finally I just took a toothpick and left.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Toothpick

Denny's #1164 Aurora, Illinois 6 March 1999 2:40pm CST 4300 Fox Valley Center Dr. at Fox Valley Mall (630) 851-3063

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Lalo
• What we ate: P7A77 - Garden Fresh Skillet, Coke; Amie - Sunshine Slam, Water
• First things first. This has to be done. I really have no choice in the matter.
• Wayne's World! Wayne's World! Party Time! Excellent!
• Ahem. Sorry 'bout that. It was a weak moment. The frequency of Wayne's World comments during this trip was second only to the number of times I complained about the cold. It was cold. Really really cold. I'm not kidding. It was 85 degrees in Tucson when I left home. It was significantly less warm in the greater Chicacoland area. How less warm, do you ask? There was SNOW on the ground. SNOW! I'm tellin' ya! I hate snow! I moved to Tucson to AVOID the snow! On top of the snow and cold, the entrance to this Denny's is pretty difficult to find for a first-time visitor. You think you're going to the entrance, but no. You discover only too late that you missed it and now have to go around the corner and enter the mall parking lot and eventually weave your way back. For those who plan on visiting, just look for "Entrance #6".
• On a brighter side, my dismay at the utter lack of warmth was eventually pushed to the backside by the joy and goodness that greeted me when I opened up the menu. My absolute favorite discontinued menu item was no longer discontinued. It even brought reinforcements. That's right, the Garden Fresh Skillet is back! And so are a whole shitload of other skillets! For my money, you can't get a better breakfast than the Garden Fresh Skillet. Well, maybe the Ultimate Omelette. Or the Moons Over My Hammy. But the Garden Fresh Skillet definitely ranks right up there.
• Amie, who has become increasingly unappetized by meat products, opted for what is a relatively newer addition to the Denny's Menu, the Sunshine Slam. Or, as I like to refer to it, the Stinking Unwashed Hippie Slam. For those who don't know, Denny's offers the Grand Slam breakfast at a low price during certain hours of the day, but they don't allow substitutions, so those who don't like meat were forced to spend more. So they came up with the Sunshine Slam, which is the same as the Grand Slam, except you can get hashbrowns or fruit instead of the charred pig flesh.
• I've been finding WAYs more difficult to spot in recent years. Maybe it's just a Midwest phenomenon. The result is that my criteria are becoming more lax. Lalo (our waiter) sort of fit the bill this time as far as appearance was concerned. But at one time during our meal, he walked up, took away our salt and pepper without a word, and left. Later he returned them (presumably freshly filled), also without a word. His somewhat odd way of going about this earned him special recognition.
• WAY: Lalo (sort of)
• Free Stuff: Coffee Insert (stolen)

Denny's #1214 Cincinnati, Ohio 18-Feb-96, 11:30pm 9350 Colerain Ave, across from Northgate Mall (513) 385-xxxx

• Attendees: P7A77, J-R Little, Josh Wyen, Chris Roehl
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: Coffee
• This is the visit that started it all. I thought it might be fun to stop at all the Denny's on the way from Oxford, Ohio, to Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Little did I know what I was getting myself into. We started off our trip light, just stopping for coffee and cigarettes. Much to our merriment, there was a corner booth full of local counter-culture youth, which inspired us to get our photo taken. Lucky they were there to give us the idea, else this journal not be as visually-enhanced as it is.
• WAY: Yes ("Jim? He ain't no manager. He thinks he is, but he ain't.")
• Free Stuff: Denny's Travel Directory

Denny's #1219 Arlington, Texas 19-Mar-96, 8:45pm CST 1000 W. Pioneer Pkwy. & Cooper (817) 275-6701

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Loree Parker, Richard Pruitt
• Wait-person(s): Peter (host)
• What we ate: Nothing
• This Denny's was fun, because we freaked the hell out of Peter. I think he went along with what we were doing out of fear. Richard (the photographer for the Dallas Morning News) was snapping pictures all over the place. As I was talking to Peter, I noticed that Richard was causing the folks in the back room to get a bit nervous. They were pointing at us and looking concerned. When they started walking out to talk to us, we high-tailed it for the door. We're such deviants.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Minute Maid Pin (for those of you keeping track at home, this makes five total)

Denny's #1222 Colorado Springs, Colorado 23 January 2000 11:20am MST 1450 Harrison Rd. at I-25 & Circle (719) 576-3394

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): undetermined
• What we ate: nothing
• So we missed this Denny's on the way up, and we missed it on the way down. I was determined. Not only to visit this Denny's but to get some damn ZOOBS. The next exit was a couple of miles down the road, at which point I turned around and went to this Denny's. It was hella crowded inside. People lined up waiting to be seated, people lined up waiting to pay, and not enough employees to go around. I figured I wouldn't bother them with the details of the project and would just ask about ZOOBS. I was a bit nervous, since I saw that they had no ZOOB display, but the hostess said that yes, they do have ZOOBS, and asked the manager where they were.
• They were out.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #1241 Coalinga, California 12 October 2001 6:30am PDT 25026 West Dorris (209) 935-3529

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): n/a
• What we ate:n/a
• WARNING: not for the feint of heart.
• Here's the situation. My body is rather finicky. Part of the problem with getting old. In the middle of the San Joaquin Valley desert, at least half an hour before the next rest area, in the dead of the night, with no sort of soft paper or tissue on hand, I got an urge. Not the kind I can write my name with, either. At least, not without some practice.
• The only spot on the side of the road that didn't have all sorts of scary nasty desert vegetation was up at the top of a hill, so people driving by must have gotten a great flash in their headlights. All I gotta say is that it's difficult to stand as if you're sitting. Get some awful leg cramps. If anyone comes upon a little present with a piece of crumpled legal pad paper in it on the side of I-5 southbound, enjoy it with my blessings.
• The reason there's no information for this Denny's is because when I got there,