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Denny's #0132 Milpitas, California 25 September 2002 5:06pm PDT 442 W. Calaveras Blvd. (408) 262-9090

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Gomez, Thuy
• What we ate: Nothing
• Employment was none too kind to the P7 family in late 2002. I had been laid off from one job due to lack of clients. Also because I was a jerk. My final paycheck bounced, which illustrates to what lengths people will go to have a valid excuse to fire me. My foray into bartending was mercifully brief, as I can't remember drink orders, don't have the steadiest of hands, and don't much care for people. My stint as a videogame tester didn't last long because I was too much of a spaz, even for them. Amie had her own issues with her job and was on a paid leave of absence. What better way to utilize all this free time than a road trip across the country? We lived in San Francisco at the time and my 10-year high school reunion was coming up in Toledo. We needed to sell a car, and my mom was willing to do the work for us. One way drive, fly back one vehicle lighter. Perfect. The entire expedition was conceived and planned in 48 hours, and executed a couple of days later. I love trips like that.
• The Milpitas Denny's was nothing special. We were on a bit of a budget, and our expanding waistlines didn't need any encouragement, so we didn't eat much on the trip in general. The first night was spent with a casual drive up to a friend's in Sacramento. Just your standard California evening of enjoying the sunset and trespassing.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #1998 Sacramento, CA 25 September 2002 11:30pm PDT 925 3rd St. (916) 443-1951

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Michael, Linnea
• Wait-person(s): N/A
• What we ate: N/A
• We got to Sacramento a bit later than expected, all fired up for some greasy heart-clogging food. The locals picked the closest Denny's and off we went, mouths salivating. Got there, parked, and I went for the establishing shot. I walked up to the front door and everyone was still standing there. I told 'em I already got a picture and we could go inside, but they pointed to a sign on the door.
• "Sorry were closed for Routeen Matience"
• Read that again, people. Words fail me.
• Routeen matience, as best as I could figure, was a staff meeting. They certainly weren't studying for the SATs.
• That plan soured, we gave the finger to the yellow and green and went to where this project should never tread: The International House of Pancakes. We get there, hungry for a rooty tooty full of fruity shake your bootie slam, and... CLOSED.
• Seriously, what the fuck? What the hell is wrong with this town?
• At least Taco Bell was open.
• Free Stuff: N/A

Denny's #6104 Rocklin, California 26 September 2002 11:28am PDT 4460 Rocklin Rd (916) 624-4800

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Steve, Cathy
• What we ate: Nothing
• If this Denny's a-rocklin, don't come a-knocklin.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Mug

Denny's #6775 Newcastle, California 26 September 2002 11:42am PDT 681 Newcastle Rd. (916) 663-2011

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Sandy (manager)
• What we ate: Nothing
• These are the entries from the trip that don't have much written for them because not a lot was going on. The most notable thing about I-80 in California is we seemed in the middle of a Harley convention, and they, too, elected to stop at all the Denny's. This one offered beer, wine, and "expresso". I hate that term. ESPRESSO, goddamnit. At least they didn't have an "ATM Machine".
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #1605 Auburn, California 26 September 2002 12:01pm PDT 1800 Auburn Ravine Rd. (530) 885-8857

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Courtney
• What we ate: Nothing
• That's Bob, talking on his walkie-talkie or CB radio or some such. Hi, Bob! Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Trucking Authority?
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #1386 Sparks, Nevada 26 September 2002 2:55pm PDT 205 E. Nugget Ave. (775) 359-9053

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Rosa (employee since 1985)
• What we ate: Nothing
• And so we entered Nevada. The scenery turned into barren desert not far past the border. It's like the Californians saw where the lush greenery stopped and drew the line. The Nevadans said, okay, fine, our silver is worth more than your stupid little gold rush anyway. Bring on the whores! Or maybe it didn't go like that. I fell asleep a lot during American History. It was right after lunch, give me a break.
• We had our first gas-up for the trip. I had to walk through a room of slot machines to pay for it and somehow lost track of ten bucks. Yes, I have "sucker" tattooed on my forehead. Who'd a thunk the casino at the Arco off I-80 at the border didn't have the loosest slots? I even lost 50 cents at the Denny's. At least it had a groovy old-school sign. You don't see those much any more, what with the "Diner" makeover. Bring back the 70s, I say. Wide collars, key parties, and Denny's. Western civilization has peaked, I tell ya.
• The Sparks Denny's gave us a travel directory, so we could figure out where the rest were on our trip. Not that I don't already have a bunch of directories, but I had neglected to bring any with me. Or maybe I did and they fell apart. Or maybe we didn't need any at all. I can't remember. Still, can't have too many travel directories. We got an idea where we'd be stopping through Nevada and paced ourselves. One in Winnemucca, one in Elko. Good spacing throughout the state.
• Got to Winnemucca, couldn't find the Denny's. But there was a diner with a familiar-looking sign named Jerry's. That is, the diner was named Jerry's, not the sign. Tho' it may have been for all I know; we weren't formally introduced. This morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. Stopped in, asked if it had ever a Denny's. No, sorry, the honor of running Denny's out of town went to Dos Amigos.
• Okay, fine, be that way. Nobody likes you much anyway, Winnestupida. Moving on to Elko. This place had every chain store in the world. All the fast food, all the department stores, all the big boxes. And a conspicuously absent Denny's. We got fixins for PB&J at the grocery instead. So much for the travel directory. Three Denny's failures in 24 hours. Someone's trying to tell me something.
• Nevada ended up being a wonderful drive. Mostly flat, open highway with nice desert scenery and a mountain to drive through here and there. Good and relaxing. Got to Utah and the Bonneville Salt Flats. It was nighttime, but we could smell 'em out there. Thanks to light pollution, this was the first opportunity I'd had to see the Milky Way. My word. Took my breath away. Seriously, everyone should move to the country and use kerosene lamps. I don't have a photo of it, because my little snapshot digicam wasn't good enough for it, not even on a tripod with a longer exposure. You'll just have to take my word on it, sky full of stars = awe-inspiring.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Take-Out Menu, Travel Directory

Denny's #7478 Murray, Utah 27 September 2002 9:41am MDT 420 W. 4500 S. (801) 262-8251

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Cindy
• What we ate: P7A77: Grand Slam (scrambled), Water; Amie: Grand Slam Slugger (Over Easy), Water
• I'm not sure this is the Denny's we went to, but from what I remember, it's in about the location where we stopped. It doesn't really matter because this entry is all about the splendor that is Utah. And we only saw the northern bit of it. I hear the southern area is a whole other world of fantastic beauty. Click the links for pictures. Maybe they're as boring as family slides, but this is my basement and projector, so suck it up. Stop poking your brother. Simmer down there.
• After chowing down my Grand Slam, we drove to the mountains. The roads were a blast to drive and we were there for some pretty good autumn foliage. The scenery was constantly changing. Sometimes we were in the middle of a forest of birch, and others we had a view that went on forever. There was even an opportunity for school bus porn.
• We drove back and forth all around the mountains until we decided we should move on if we wanted to get to other destinations on time. Somewhere along the way we passed our thousand-mile mark and gots to represent with a big wooden bear. In northeastern Utah is where some of the dinosaurs went to die and provide nectar for SUVs. Near dusk we drove and walked around the Flaming Gorge before ultimately spending the night in Wyoming.
• So there's Utah for ya.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #6875 Billings, Montana 29 September 2002 10:30pm MDT 2010 Overland Ave. (406) 651-0724

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Jamie
• What we ate: P7A77: Chicken Ranch Special, Sprite; Amie: Moons Over My Hammy Special, Sprite
• As the folks around Yellowstone are smart and don't have any Denny's, you're getting a couple days' worth of photos in this entry.
• After waking up in southwestern Wyoming, we headed straight towards Yellowstone. Well, as straight as the roads would allow. We had to cross over into Idaho at one point. Now, for most of the trip, I was driving at or under the speed limit, but we really wanted to get to Yellowstone. The local smokeys are keenly aware their scenery sucks compared to what lies in either direction, and were ready to pounce. Remember, we were from northern California. Let's just say "Amie" and "clambake" are two words that worked well together on this trip. Luckily the trooper either didn't notice or didn't care and was content to simply issue a $75 speeding ticket.
• We got through that, passed through a town with an overabundance of antlers, hung out at the water near the Grand Tetons, straddled the Continental Divide, and took in the sunset.
• Day two at Yellowstone encompassed the standard fare to be expected, which is to say bison, geysers, and the titular attraction. Nothing like being on the world's largest active volcano for vivid scenery.
• On our way out we drove into a rainbow then up through Bear Tooth Pass into Montana. I didn't find out until later that one of our tires was almost shredded. You're lucky to get these entries at all, so I don't want to hear any complaining that they're boring and filled with photos.
• Finally we hit a Denny's in Billings where we took advantage of their Specials. As Amie's a Moons freak, she was shitting herself over the Moons special (both before and after dinner). Settled into our hotel, which for some reason had us listed as the Guest of the Day. Good thing we weren't trying to stay out of sight or have some privacy or anything. As payment for waving our identity to the world, they gave us a fabric pumpkin and a basket full of snacks.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Nothing (unless you count the goodie basket from the hotel)

Denny's #7326 Rapid City, South Dakota 30 September 2002 5:30pm MDT 2206 N. Lacrosse St. (605) 341-3151

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Jenn, Brionney
• What we ate: Nothing
• I'm in love with South Dakota. It's got a lot to offer. Mountains, badlands, Little House on the Prarie, Louis & Clark, etc etc. It's a damn fine state, and I say that with no sarcasm whatsoever.
• Most of what I liked about SD was the general feeling of it all, so you might not appreciate it as much as I did based on photos alone. I'd have more notes for you, but the tape I was using to dictate this part of the trip snapped when I was playing it back. For the best, really, because it was tedious as hell trying to find relevant and interesting information. Note to self: if you use a mini tape recorder in the future, don't babble so damn much. Focus, dude.
• The first thing we hit in The Ess Dee was Mount Rushmore and shortly after that we got to Denny's. New one. Shiny. The staff was surprisingly receptive for an afternoon shift. For some undetermined reason they had plastic footprints on the front door, and Jenn was kind enough to give us one. You go, Jenn! I'm not sure what Brionney did. Moral support, I guess.
• From Denny's it was to the Badlands, just outside of which was our stop for the night. We stayed in the middle of nowhere. Check that. The Interior of nowhere. Next morning it was more Badlands and then Wall Drug, where for a quarter you can make the rabbits dance. Dance, rabbits, dance!
• There was a lot more scenery, but the sort you just drive through and think, "oh this is nice," not the sort you take photographs of. Well, not the sort we took photos of, anyway.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Plastic Foot

Denny's #6399 Wisconsin Dells, Wisconsin 2 October 2002 3:09pm CDT 600 S. Frontage Rd. (608) 254-7825

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): 521
• What we ate: P7A77: Vegetable Omelette; Amie: Classic Burger
• Passed into Minnesota where they have full-service gas. There and New Jersey. They also advertise "Unleaded", and the machines are analog. Remember what I said about bringing back the 70s? Fortunately, we didn't have to wait in line for three days to gas up. Selective nostalgia.
• How did we know we were in the midwest? Let me break it down for ya. Corn, corn, weird folkart, corn, trains, and corn. Oh yes, also there was corn. We had to suffer through 'til Wisconsin to hit the Denny's in question. They had recently cleaned the floors and left the welcome mat folded up, practically begging to find its way into someone's trunk. I was tempted.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #1006 Madison, Wisconsin 2 October 2002 6:00pm CDT 1798 Theirer Rd. (608) 241-5061

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Unknown
• What we ate: Nothing
• The closer I got to Chicago, the more it rained. Why? Because when it's not raining when I visit, it's snowing. The people who live there insist the weather is good, but I'm convinced the constant sudden weather shifts have damaged their cognitive thinking. But we're not talking about Chicago, we're talking about Madison. It was yucky and drizzly.
• Hit the Denny's, where the unnamed waiter (yes I know he has a name tag, but my tape of the visit broke and I can't make it out on the photo) gave us what looks like a hair scrunchie and a sticker or piece of paper or Band-Aid (hey, I've gotten one before) or something. Who knows. Who cares. Oh, we stopped by a Frank Lloyd Wright building, but were too late for a tour.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Scrunchie and Sticker (I think)

Denny's #1561 Harwood Heights, Illinois 3 October 2002 5:07pm CDT 4609 N. Harlem Ave. (708) 457-1010

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Michael, Wellsie, Lindee
• Wait-person(s): James
• What we ate: P7A77: Ultimate Omelette; Amie: Moons Over My Hammy; Michael: Breakfast Dagwood w/ Seasoned Fries; Wellsie: Breakfast Dagwood; Lindee: Veggie Cheese Omelette
• On down to Illinois, where the state trees are plentiful and annoying. Our friend Michael was kind enough to let us crash in his Chicagoland house and eat all his food. After we emptied his fridge, it was off to Denny's. No surprise there, considering you're reading the entry for it.
• As we sat sat anxiously awaiting our food, Wellsie regaled us with descriptors of the leftovers from her previous relationship, at the time occupying the back of her car. Feeling the need to preserve it for the ages, she wrote us a lovely little poem to commemorate the occasion. As a picture is worth a thousand (or, in this case, nineteen) words, I snapped a shot of the aforementioned sporting accessory. Ensuring nobody would forget the events that seemed so amusing at the time but lose a bit in translation, there's also a photo of me taking the photo. Now I need a photo of somebody looking at the photo of me taking the photo, and then time and space will collapse upon itself.
• Oh yeah, on the way out of town, we stopped by the Frank Lloyd Wright studio in Oak Park. It was raining. Of course.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: timeless poetry

Denny's #7200 Portage, Indiana 4 October 2002 1:53pm CDT 6717 Melton Drive (219) 764-0311

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Rool? Rook? Ian?
• What we ate: P7A77: Patty Melt; Amie: Grand Slam
• Not much to say about this, except anyone who poses like that is okay in my book. I can't quite make out his name tag in the original high-res photo, but it looks like Rool or Rooz. The receipt said Ian. I'm going with Rool.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #1266 Kalamazoo, Michigan 4 October 2002 4:20pm EDT 3817 E. Cork St. (269) 342-4633

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Unknown
• What we ate: Nothing
• And so we reach the final Denny's of the trip, in good ol' Kalamazoo, latter-day home of Elvis. Even though we didn't eat anything, the manager gave me a personalized name tag. I suppose if it wasn't personalized, it'd simply be a tag.
• Toledo was a host of disappointments. The high-school reunion had been planned very late in the game and hardly anyone was there, and of those in attendance, nobody was much of a P7 fan. I stopped by the first Denny's I ever attended in my life, which is the same as the one I used to work and the first one for Das Büs. This is a Denny's with an especially-groovy old-school sign, even groovier than the one most of us have seen. It was GONE. As was the other Denny's I frequented in high school.
• Picked myself up from that disappointment and went to pay a visit to Das Büs, which has frankly seen better days. I went to climb in through the back and noticed what looked like chunky sawdust on the floor. Got in, looked up, and OH MY GOD WASPS. Let's back up a few. When I was a kid, I happened to step in a wasp's nest that had fallen on the ground. I was wearing long pants. Wasps fly in, they don't fly out. I am emotionally scarred for life. Needless to say, I got right the fuck out of there.
• My plans for a quick drive out the window, I contented myself to hang off the side for a glamor shot. Then one last hug and off I went.
• So let's total up the trip. Three Denny's that we were unable to attend because they were closed for the night or closed permanently, two previously-visited (and my hometown) Denny's out of business, and a bus infested by wasps. Time to give up this li'l old website, perhaps? Soon, I promise.
• WAY: Unknown
• Free Stuff: Name Tag

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