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Denny's #0139 Agoura, California 19 October 2000 9:35pm PDT 29145 Canwood St. (818) 991-2393

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): undetermined
• What we ate: P7A77 - Cherry Cheesecake; Amie - Vanilla Shake
• I was planning on making the El Monte visit the last for the night (we were going to spend the night in Ventura, on the other side of Los Angeles), since we were getting a bit tired by this point, and not much exciting was happening at any of them anyway. Then I saw this sign in the distance and recalled how a friend of mine had ranted and raved about how cool it was and how there was this ball at the top with a bunch of lights on it and stuff, and figured if I didn't stop then I'd get yelled at when I got back to Tucson. He's right, it IS a cool sign, much like Denny's #0002 in Las Vegas, Nevada, across from the Stratosphere and also the one in Las Cruces, New Mexico. I was disappointed the top light-ball part of the sign was either turned off or burned out.
• I'm glad we stopped because I was in the mood for dessert and that cherry cheesecake was mmm-mmm tasty. Unfortunately, while the sign and food were great, nothing for free here. I went through my usual ordeal, to which they asked if I was on a scavenger hunt. I said yes, of sorts, and they said they're not giving anything away for the scavenger hunt. It seems there was some sort of local thing going on. I tried to tell them that I wasn't part of that, but by then it was too late. So damn you to whatever group it was that soured Denny's to giving away freebies! You owe me some ZOOBS.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #1605 Auburn, California 26 September 2002 12:01pm PDT 1800 Auburn Ravine Rd. (530) 885-8857

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Courtney
• What we ate: Nothing
• That's Bob, talking on his walkie-talkie or CB radio or some such. Hi, Bob! Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Trucking Authority?
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #6364 Baker, California 12 October 2001 12:30 PDT 350 West Baker Boulevard (760) 733-4316

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Jason
• What we ate: nothing
• Sooooooo many signs. So many. There was no missing this Denny's. We saw billboards advertising this Denny's when we were "45 minutes" away. Then again at 35 minutes. Then 25 minutes. Then 22 minutes. Then 20 minutes. Then... nothing! I got a little worried. Then after a bit we saw that the next two miles of litter pickup was thanks to Denny's, so I knew we were at most 2 minutes away.
• When we got there, we saw why they didn't have more highway signs... they were saving them for the actual restaurant. There was a big one by the highway saying "THIS EXIT", one across the street from the restaurant pointing across the street, one on the same side of the street, and then the actual Denny's restaurant sign. It's not like this is a bustling town, either. The whole purpose of it seems to be to give you somewhere to stop off the highway. In fact, the exit and re-entrance to the highway involve driving through the main drag of the town, as if the whole thing were one big exit ramp.
• On a side note... earlier in the day I saw signs for a town called Yermo. Being the childish buffoon I am, I giggled every time. While walking back to the car, I saw a sign advertising it from the other direction. A quick bit of photo editing gave me a sense of closure.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Coffee Mug

Denny's #0145 Baldwin Park, California 19 October 2000 8:25pm PDT 14550 Baldwin Park Towne Center (626) 338-0217

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Mary (manager)
• What we ate: nothing
• I don't have very good night vision. So searching for Denny's while driving in heavy traffic on a five-lane highway with short off-ramps isn't the safest thing in the world for me to be doing. I'm not really sure why I felt it was necessary to drive in one of the left lanes while doing this, nor why I thought it was a good idea to suddenly cut across several lanes when a Denny's was spotted, just barely making it to the off-ramp, which involved driving pretty much perpendicular to it, since we had already missed the turn-off.
• Mary was good-natured about my visit (I didn't bother to tell her I almost killed a pile of people on my way in). I think she was just trying to get me out of there quickly, as there was a bit of a condescending tone in her perky attitude. When I asked for something for free, she turned to a waitress (who was busy doing something else and not aware of what was going on), asked for her "suggest the feature" pin off of her shirt, and gave it to me. The waitress was a little taken aback. I think for a second she thought she was being fired.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: "If I don't suggest the feature of the day, your meal is FREE!" pin

Denny's #7351 Banning, California 19 October 2000 6:00pm PDT 6305 W. 5th St. (909) 845-2813

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Cecilia
• What we ate: P7A77 - Patty Melt, French Fries, Coke; Amie - Moons Over My Hammy, French Fries, Iced Tea
• Amie was getting cranky, so I knew it was time for food and a nap, and a chance to use that coupon! The Denny's was one of the original building designs, but with a mid-90s logo sign, and some chrome trim on the roof for the new Diner look. While waiting for our food, we attempted to map out how many Denny's we'd be visiting on our way through the LA area. It was going to be a long night.
• They were full into the dinner rush, but Cecilia was still happy to help me get something for free - a rare trait in the day shift, especially when they're busy. She went around looking for something but came up short, so she gave me the "suggest the feature of the day" pin off of her shirt! Yay! I guess they're not as strict here as they are in Blythe.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: "If I don't suggest the feature of the day, your meal is FREE!" pin

Denny's #0349 Barstow, California 12 October 2001 10:45am PDT 1201 East Main Street (760) 256-0022

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Sandra
• What we ate: P7A77 - Chicken Parmesan Sandwich (w/ french fries), Water; Amie - Bagel w/ Cream Cheese, Fresh Fruit Bowl, Coke
• We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the hunger began to take hold.
• Sandra was friendly and attentive, but it was difficult to understand what she was saying. But then, it's usually difficult to understand what I'm saying, so that's okay. Amie flicked a wadded up straw wrapper at me (while I wasn't looking, even... the nerve), but missed and just barely missed grazing the ear of the guy sitting in the booth behind me. I was too busy admiring the big cardboard pies in the display by the register to pay it much mind.
• The bagel was burned on both sides, and the fruit - initially forgotten by Sandra - was only some bananas with strawberry sludge. Hardly "fresh". My sandwich was delicious.
• Sandra was a little too weirded out by us to feel comfortable handing over a cardboard pie and summoned her manager, Micki, who unsuccessfully tried to pan Sandra off to us (this has happened a few times to me... maybe it's in the manager training guide). Amie did a bit of her smooth-talkin' and was able to get a cardboard pie out of the deal. Huzzah.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: cardboard pie

Denny's #7353 Beaumont, California 19 October 2000 6:50pm PDT 449 E. 4th St. (909) 845-1790

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Tamica
• What we ate: nothing
• Mock me for leading a sheltered life, but it's rare that I ever actually see a phone booth. Usually I just see those little cubbies in front of 7-11 or something. So here are some phone booths at Denny's.
• After waiting around for quite a long time in the lobby (everyone kept passing me off to someone else, and the place was almost empty), I wasn't even able to get anything good for free. But they sure acted as if what they were giving me was the best damn thing ever.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Take-Out Pie Box

Denny's #1971 Blythe, California 19 October 2000 2:40pm PDT 876 W. Donlon St. (760) 922-331

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Renae
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coke; Amie - Coke
• We were approaching the "Agricultural Station" at the border that I thought was just a front for a border stop (gotta make sure those borders are closed, ya know, since we rightfully killed, raped, and pillaged for this land ourselves). But it seems it's nothing more than a place to make people stop and get coupons. Happy day, they had coupons for Denny's! We should have gone back and gotten a few dozen more.
• The Denny's in question is right over the border. I saw a guy walking around who sort of looked like WAY (I think his name was Larry, but it may have been Lenny), but the waitstaff didn't mention him when I asked. I tried to get one of the "If I don't suggest the feature of the day, your meal is FREE!" pins, but nobody seemed to want to give them up, so I got a menu instead.
• WAY: Larry (maybe Lenny)
• Free Stuff: Menu

Denny's #7099 Cabazon, California 19 October 2000 5:35pm PDT 50920 Seminole Dr. (909) 922-0112

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Hjordis (general manager)
• What we ate: nothing
• This Denny's more than made up for the previous few lackluster visits. Behind the restaurant were two sculptures featured in a certain special-effects laden motion picture containing the most memorable dinosaur scenes ever put on film... that's right, these are the dinosaurs from the Burton/Reubens/Hartman epic, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure! Here's a shot of both of them, of the T-Rex, and of the Brontosaurus with Denny's behind it.
• Hjordis the general manager is a pistol. She was very curt with me. I asked what the restaurant number was, and she demanded to know why I was asking her. I commented on her name (that I was reading and writing down from her name badge), and she proceeded to spell it for me, even though I was clearing reading it. I asked if there was a Weird Al look-a-like, and she asked if this was some sort of hobby of mine, and she wasn't phrasing it as a compliment. I immediately liked her. Even more so when she gave me a mug! Hot damn! Pee-Wee dinosaurs AND a mug! Maybe California isn't so bad after all.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Coffee Mug

Denny's #0440 Carte Madera, California 21 May 2002 11:50am PST 5839 Paradise Drive (415) 924-9202

• Attendees: P7A77, Dave, Branson, Omar, Craig
• Wait-person(s): Marla
• What we ate: P7A77 - Veggie Cheese Omelette (w/ grits & wheat toast), Milk, Orange Juice; Dave - Original Grand Slam (sunny side up), Coffee, Orange Juice; Branson - Original Grand Slam (over easy), Hashbrowns, Orange Juice; Omar - Grand Slam Slugger (lightly scrambled, w/ grits), Milk, Orange Juice; Craig - All-American Slam, Hashbrowns, Orange Juice
• You may be wondering by now what the hell is going on here. Well, I'll tell ya.
• One fine morning (and it was really fine), the crew from KPIX's Evening Magazine stopped by my apartment to do a segment on this whole wacky cesspool of untempered fascination we lovingly refer to as Project: Denny's. I told them that they didn't really want to do that. They said they did. I told them I knew better. They insisted. Then they told me about the car. And the CBS Credit Card. I asked when we could start.
• First they wanted to get a sense of the scope of the whole thing, and have me display some of the swag I've gotten from previous visits. So I set some up. Then I set up the rest. Then I thought about how a lot of the stuff I've gotten has been thrown or given away. Then I reflected upon my adult life. Then I wept quietly to myself.
• But by now it was too late. So we hopped in the Rolls and headed on up north to Marin. We thought yeah, ha-ha, fancy car in front of Denny's, so much ironic humor abounds. Then we got there. Leave it to the fine folks in Marin to have a Rolls Royce dealership across the street from Denny's. Still, that didn't stop them from giving me the red carpet treatment.
• Our waitress, Marla, was pleased as punch to be part of our segment. She even recognized Branson (the cameraman). I think we made her a little nervous. Understandably so. But she was the epitome of good service. Perky, attentive, friendly, and prompt. I got the feeling she would have been that way even if the camera hadn't been there. But hoo-boy she sure did try to sell the camera on the Denny's in Corte Madera. As Dave (the Emmy-winning producer) said, "the service is so good, it's almost scary."
• The food, as is to be expected by a Denny's really trying to look good on television, was possibly the best I've ever tasted at a Denny's. The omelette was light and fluffy and just packed with veggies. The grits were a nice consistency. As Omar (the chauffeur) noted, however, the orange juice was rather watered down. But Craig (the chase-car driver) said it was the best Denny's he'd ever been to in Marin county.
• All in all, a good Denny's with which to start the day.
• WAY: Yes (Terry, no longer employed)
• Free Stuff: Three (3) Sets of Power Rings, Two (2) Daytime Menus, Three (3) Keychains, One (1) Grand Slam Slugger Pin, One (1) Personalized Name Tag

Denny's #1241 Coalinga, California 12 October 2001 6:30am PDT 25026 West Dorris (209) 935-3529

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): n/a
• What we ate:n/a
• WARNING: not for the feint of heart.
• Here's the situation. My body is rather finicky. Part of the problem with getting old. In the middle of the San Joaquin Valley desert, at least half an hour before the next rest area, in the dead of the night, with no sort of soft paper or tissue on hand, I got an urge. Not the kind I can write my name with, either. At least, not without some practice.
• The only spot on the side of the road that didn't have all sorts of scary nasty desert vegetation was up at the top of a hill, so people driving by must have gotten a great flash in their headlights. All I gotta say is that it's difficult to stand as if you're sitting. Get some awful leg cramps. If anyone comes upon a little present with a piece of crumpled legal pad paper in it on the side of I-5 southbound, enjoy it with my blessings.
• The reason there's no information for this Denny's is because when I got there, feeling rather stinky and crusty, it was already pretty crowded. All I wanted was to use the washroom, and it was full of people. I was grumpy and didn't feel like standing around or talking to anyone, so I left. I didn't even know what city I was in. Figured I could determine by the address on the building in the photo. Actually, I didn't think about that until after I was on the road, so I'm really just lucky. Well, one notch less unlucky, anyway.
• WAY: n/a
• Free Stuff: n/a

Denny's #6699 Concord, California 5 September 2005 9:00am PDT 1313 Willow Pass Rd. (925) 798-4040

• Attendees: P7A77, Pete
• Wait-person(s): undetermined
• What we ate: P7A77: French Toast Slam, Pete: undetermined
• Okay, damnit, I lost my notes on this one. I gotta stop doing that. It hardly matters, because I can never read my chicken scratch, so I usually make it all up as I go along.
• Another publication decided to lose some readership by featuring me in a story. This time, Diablo Magazine thought they had something more exciting than they did. Pete and I met up, ate breakfast, chatted for a bit, and went on our merry ways. It seemed a nice enough place. My French Toast Slam was mighty tasty. I'm not sure I'd ever had it before. Good stuff.
• As is the case when I try to get information from them, they get slammed just as I'm ready to go into it. This is why I don't like morning shift. The article's supposed to be in November 2005's issue, so we'll see if there's anything salvageable. From what I remember, it was a good time, and he had a great sense of humor about the whole thing. Check your newsstands!
• Thanks to Pete for taking and supplying the photographs for me.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: meal (thanks guy!)

Denny's #7414 Danville, California 28 May 2005 10:00am PDT 807 Camino Ramon (925) 820-8240

• Attendees: P7A77, Adder, Sonya
• Wait-person(s): Connie
• What we ate: P7A77: Ultimate Omelette, Wheat Toast; Adder: Country Scramble; Sonya: Moons Over My Hammy, Hashbrowns, Orange Juice
• I knew there was a Denny's here. Danville's not that big (not that I had been there before), and with a street name like "Camino Ramon", I figured it had to be a significant thoroughfare. Easy as keylime pie.
• Faithful readers will know the problems I've had with keylime pie. Turns out there are three Danville exits from the freeway. Whoops! We picked the second one. Drove around town. Drove around some more. Flagged down some random dude who quickly said he wasn't from around here and ran away. Kept on drivin' and after a while realized Danville was no longer the surroundings. Turned around, stopped at a gas station. The guy gave wonderfully clear and specific directions. How many lights, what lane to be in, other buildings in the vicinity, road conditions, weather reports, the whole works. As it turns out, all he really had to say was, "it's just over that bridge". We were, apparently, on the side of the tracks not favorable to Denny's.
• After a fair amount of civil disobedience we headed in. While we were waiting in the lobby, Sonya mentioned she needed to piddle. Restrooms are right there. "How will I find you?" Um, we'll be the very tall people that you recognize in this two-room Denny's. Off she went to urinate.
• There was good and bad about this Denny's visit. It's the same layout as the very first Denny's visited for the Project: good. They no longer offer Adder's favorite meal, the Southern Slam: bad. Sonya spilled catsup on herself: bad. Sonya loves catsup (really, you have no idea how much) and sucked on her shirt for hours afterwards: good. We were mere moments late to take advantage of the morning discount prices: bad. WE MET BATMAN: GOOD!
• Batman was making the streets safe in our general dining area throughout our meal. For the most part he seemed to be fighting Catwoman. Hard to tell, she was out of uniform. It could have been his sister. They were sparring pretty well. I certainly felt a lot safer with him around. When I asked to take his photo, he removed his mask! His father... er, I mean, "Alfred" had a slip of the tongue and told us that he was Bruce Wayne now. Secret identity, revealed! Thankfully I'm not a bad guy, otherwise I'd have to either die or go insane to protect this information. So don't tell anyone or I could get in trouble.
• As is usually the case with daytime shifts, they're slow as hell up front until I get up and want to scam 'em for free stuff. Then they get slammed and I feel like an ass pestering them. After a while of standing around waiting for a free moment, I decided my brush with the Caped Crusader was enough for me for that visit.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: Action Hero Sighting

Denny's #6988 El Monte, California 19 October 2000 8:35pm PDT 3540 North Peck Road (818) 442-1314

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Jessica
• What we ate: nothing
• I didn't learn much from the Baldwin Park experience, because once back on the highway, I proceeded to get in the left lane again, which required more near-death experiences navigating the off-ramp. It wasn't very good planning on my part to have the evening part of our journey happen in the middle of a major metropolitan area with a Denny's at every other exit. At the very least, it wasn't good planning to have me be the driver.
• There were a few fire trucks in the parking lot. Amie said she saw a kitten wandering around, but I don't think the firefighters were there to get it out of a tree. They really didn't seem to be doing much of anything other than sitting around.
• It took a while to get something out of them because Jessica wasn't sure what she were supposed to do. I used this confusion to try to get a carafe out of her, but no luck. I got her to start reaching for the mugs when she said that they had cameras and the manager could see what she was doing. Right after that the manager came out. He didn't seem to care what I was doing, and told Jessica to give me a mug. It took a few times of her asking him if he was sure before she finally did.
• After leaving, Amie thought she saw a sign for another Denny's on the other side of the highway, so I spent a good deal of time trying to figure out my way through dark car dealership parking lots before I finally gave up. We saw another one as we were passing by the next exit off the highway, but I decided two close calls with fiery disaster were enough for one night, so we skipped it.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Coffee Mug

Denny's #0392 Gilroy, California 12 October 2001 4:20am PDT 8425 San Ysidro Avenue (408) 842-7678

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Tania
• What we ate: P7A77 - Triple Play Deal (eggs o/e, wheat toast), Coffee; Amie - All American Slam (wheat toast), Orange Juice
• I think we're officially old. Well, Amie is, anyway. This trip was from San Jose to Las Vegas for two reasons. One, we live in San Jose. Two, Amie went to high school in Las Vegas. So what? Who cares? We were going there for her ten year High School Reunion. Bwahahah.
• We woke up bright and early around 3am, fell asleep during our respective showers, and hit the road. We detected a faint garlic smell, looked up, and saw the Denny's sign. Looked across the highway at a bank sign, and it read 4:20. The gods, they do smile upon us.
• The place had a strange vibe to it. Well, not strange so much as long forgotten. It was the feeling of the place gets after the hump of the overnight is over, when the truckers are coming in for a jolt of coffee, and the employees are a bit punchy. Tania was prompt and attentive, taking us to our seats right away, and returning with our drink orders immediately. But she screwed up who got which drink, so we knew our moment in the sun was over.
• As faintly indicated by the commercials, the $3.99 Triple Play prices and participation may vary. $5.99. Welcome to California. It also didn't taste so good. The sausages were a bit weird. I had trouble cutting my ham, when Amie pointed out that it's easier to use a knife and I should put down the fork. She was right. No matter, the ham tasted weird, too.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Night Menu

Denny's #7184 Lompoc, California 20 October 2000 10:15am PDT 1405 North H Street (805) 735-5560

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Mike & Rob (managers)
• What we ate: nothing
• While searching for a convenient place to eat in Santa Barbara, we ended up at The Good Earth (without Pearle Buck), which is a lot like a Denny's, only quieter and more expensive, and with seemingly more healthy versions of the food. Amie had the All-American, which was very similar to the All-American Slam. Hmm. We were taking the scenic highway up the coast, so we didn't expect to see any Denny's, especially since none were listed in our Travel Directory. But, lo and behold, on the edge of one of the towns sat that familiar green, red, and yellow sign!
• Mike & Rob acted like alert version of graveyard workers. Meaning they seemed keen on the project and didn't care about giving away stuff, but they moved at more than a sloth's pace. I asked if there was anyone who looked like Weird Al there, and they said that I sort of did. I'm not really sure if that makes any sense, since I really look nothing like Weird Al (not that I would mind if I did), but sometimes ya gotta put up with the wacky managers. And after a bit of thinking, they both said that Todd (who doesn't work there any more) looked like WAY, and that he was a manager!
• WAY: Todd (ex-manager)
• Free Stuff: Name Tag

Denny's #0004 Los Angeles, California 17 April 1999 2:11am PDT 7373 Sunset Blvd. (213) 876-6660

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Kim Zaninovich, Gil
• Wait-person(s): Iman
• What we ate: P7A77 - Moons Over My Hammy (with a side of mayonnaise), Hashbrowns, Biscuits and Gravy, Coffee, Water; Amie - Moons Over My Hammy, Hashbrowns, Water; Kim - Mozzarella Sticks, Dinner Salad, Grilled Cheese w/ Tomatoes, Water; Gil - Dinner Salad, Club Sandwich, Seasoned Fries, Water
• As is my custom, I'm writing the review of this Denny's several months after the actual visit. I can barely remember what happened this morning in my house, let alone late one drunken night in another city. On top of that, my notes from this night are very hard to read. I guess I'll just have to make do.
• This was my second time to LA in my life. Amie's college friend Kim lives there, so we flew on up for a visit. I was extremely disoriented and I felt out of place the entire time. Don't get me wrong; I'm usually like that, but this time even moreso. I couldn't get over the fact that a vast majority of the people and places we saw seemed to be just in the business of looking good and being cool. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, but I guess I'm just a midwest small town boy at heart. Oh, well.
• I should state that Kim was a wonderful hostess, and had nothing at all to do with my mood. It's the city. I know that if you're in the entertainment industry the city can suck the living soul out of your pores and then spit it back up your rectum, but even as a visitor who had nothing to gain or lose from the city, I got a sense of that. Then again, maybe I just need to get out of the house more.
• But moving on... After we left Kim's Apartment (passing by the ashtray in the lobby with the "no smoking" sign stuck in it), we went to the Viper Room. Apparently this is the place where River Phoenix died. It was fun, tho'. They had some goofy fun 70's cover band. Trite, I know, but fun nonetheless. Afterwards we went to the "Rock 'n Roll Denny's" on the strip.
• I have in my notes that there were people singing in the back section, that there was a music store near by (where Gil took classes at one time), that Amie would have preferred Moons Over My Lack Of Hammy (so why didn't she just order eggs, cheese, and toast?), that the waitress didn't write any of our order down but got it all right anyway, that there were pimps there, that it was the cheapest Denny's in the area, that some guy passed out in a booth behind us, and that we had a discussion of White Castle and their Chicken Rings (which I think are wonderful as a concept and a product), and that White Castle fries only come in one size.
• As we left to hail a cab (I actually remember this a bit), there was some sort of commotion with some guy pulling up in his car, getting out and pounding on the newspaper boxes, and generally just screaming about something or other. After a bit, the Denny's security and some real cops were chasing him and yelling at him. The guy ran across the street and into a neighborhood. A short while later, a cop car came squealing down the street and tore around the corner after him. It's like living theater right in front of your eyes.
• WAY: some of the customers
• Free Stuff: Two (2) Travel Guides (it took a while to get them, too)

Denny's #1728 Los Angeles, California (Hollywood) 18 April 1999 2:20pm PDT 6100 Sunset Blvd. (323) 464-7470

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Kim Zaninovich
• Wait-person(s): Elisa
• What we ate: P7A77 - Meximelt Burger, French Fries, Coke; Amie - Grand Slam (w/ Hashbrowns instead of meat, eggs over easy), Coke; Kim - 2 Egg Breakfast (over hard), Hashbrowns, English Muffin, Water
• While in LA, Amie and I did a bit of the sightseeing. Our big event was our trip to Universal Studios (of course). Here is a photo of that. I would have proposed to Amie on the tour when Jaws popped out of the water, but, well, we're already married.
• An interesting Denny's-related chain is that the last time Amie was in LA (last year, on business), she and Kim went to San Peeeedro and visited a Denny's there. It's the very Denny's where Kim was when the big 1993 earthquake hit the area. Well, okay, it wasn't that interesting. But it reminded me of when I worked at Big Boy in high school and a tornado came by. That's also not terribly interesting. I'm going to finish this paragraph now.
• My Meximelt was cold, but otherwise good. Not spicy at all, though. The waitress forgot to bring my mayo. Amie's mock-Sunshine Slam was fabulous. Kim's Two Eggs "hit the spot".
• And in case you were wondering, here's what the back of the Denny's looks like with Amie and Kim standing by the wall.
• I've really got to start writing these reviews sooner.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: Burger & Coke promotional card (ripped out of the menu by Amie)

Denny's #1144 Los Angeles, California 10 June 2002 1:00pm PDT 5751 W Sunset Blvd (323) 464-8435

• Attendees: P7A77 and a bunch of other people
• Wait-person(s): Does it matter?
• Okay, people. I'm writing this entry a full two years after the visit. Suffice to say, this site has dropped off significantly in importance to me. Sorry, that's just the way it goes.
• However, this was a unique visit. In the ripe summer of 2002, I was but one lost soul in the swarms of the unemployed. Since I was trying to figure out the source of my next rent check, when an advertising firm in LA called and said they wanted to hire me for a one-day consultation gig, I was all over that. They flew me down there one morning to talk to them about Denny's. Apparently they were trying to pitch a new campaign and they wanted to test it out on me or pick my brain or something. It was me and a score of various marketing people sitting around a conference room with my site projected on the big display. I kept insisting that their target market was a bunch of broke stoned high school students and that I'm sort of a meta-observer of the thing and my site isn't really about Denny's anyway, but they were paying for lunch, so I did the best I could to be the sad clown dancing.
• As it was two years ago and I can't read my chicken scratch hand-writing in my notebook, I don't remember a lot of what was said. After the tenth time of them asking, "well what about this?" and me saying, "uh, dudes, I dunno," they were starting to share my original viewpoint that I'd be of no use to them, so we broke for lunch. This marks the first time I've been paid to go to Denny's. I'm now a professional! Good thing they changed the rules for the Olympics.
• I'm not even sure if the Denny's listed above is the one we went to, but it's one of three I have written down here as potentials to visit. Is this one the Rock & Roll Denny's? Aren't they all the same? We ate a lot of mediocre food and took a picture with Golden Orphan Annie (waitress since 1976!). Quote of the day: "The most nondescript thing I've ever tried to describe."
• I don't think they got the account.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: the entire trip

Denny's #1138 Lost Hills, California 12 October 2001 7:30am PDT I-5 & Highway 46 (661) 797-2606

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Berta
• What we ate: nothing
• Talk about Lost Hills. My Mapquest directions didn't include this one on our list (yes, we're that lame), even though our directions had us change roads at this exit, so this was a found Denny's. But I'd have to be an idiot to miss it, since I had to drive right in front of it. So not really "found" as much as "not missed".
• While I sat at the end of the exit ramp, waiting to turn, I noticed that, crossing the road in front of me, were two sheep! Just walking across the road! I supposed it was farm country out there, but it was a rather barren intersection, and it was just strange to see. Amie had been sleeping, and so was probably a little confused to be woken by me freaking out about barnyard animals while pulling off the interstate next to Denny's.
• I quickly parked and jumped out to get some photos, noticing that nobody else seemed terribly concerned about livestock wandering through traffic. I chalked it up to being a local thing, but Berta assured me that it had never happened before. While she was telling me that, yes, live grazing animals investigating their parking lot was not an occurance one was likely to witness regularly, she seemed not at all even slightly intrigued. She responded much as one would expect someone to respond as if I had walked calmly in there and informed her that the sky was blue and the moon wasn't made out of cheese. Now that I think about it, some strange slightly deranged person walking up to me and telling me basic well-agreed-upon facts of time and space would probably freak me out at least a tad, so my ranting and raving about large animals likely wasn't the norm for her, either. In that case, she handled herself quite well. Brava.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Menu

Denny's #0132 Milpitas, California 25 September 2002 5:06pm PDT 442 W. Calaveras Blvd. (408) 262-9090

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Gomez, Thuy
• What we ate: Nothing
• Employment was none too kind to the P7 family in late 2002. I had been laid off from one job due to lack of clients. Also because I was a jerk. My final paycheck bounced, which illustrates to what lengths people will go to have a valid excuse to fire me. My foray into bartending was mercifully brief, as I can't remember drink orders, don't have the steadiest of hands, and don't much care for people. My stint as a videogame tester didn't last long because I was too much of a spaz, even for them. Amie had her own issues with her job and was on a paid leave of absence. What better way to utilize all this free time than a road trip across the country? We lived in San Francisco at the time and my 10-year high school reunion was coming up in Toledo. We needed to sell a car, and my mom was willing to do the work for us. One way drive, fly back one vehicle lighter. Perfect. The entire expedition was conceived and planned in 48 hours, and executed a couple of days later. I love trips like that.
• The Milpitas Denny's was nothing special. We were on a bit of a budget, and our expanding waistlines didn't need any encouragement, so we didn't eat much on the trip in general. The first night was spent with a casual drive up to a friend's in Sacramento. Just your standard California evening of enjoying the sunset and trespassing.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #6451 Mojave, California 12 October 2001 9:20am PDT 16262 Sierra Highway (805) 824-1748

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Regina
• What we ate: nothing
• We walked up to this Denny's with the intention of using their restrooms. A sign on the front door informed us that restrooms are for customers only. We weren't going to buy anything. We risked it.
• It was a busy morning, during a shift that's usually not too friendly towards me, and we just barged in to use their facilities. In spite (or perhaps oblivious) of all of that, Regina was friendly and gave me a menu. As Amie wisely spoke soon after: You can't judge a Denny's by its front door sign.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Dessert Menu

Denny's #0038 Monterey, California 20 October 2000 5:20pm PDT 755 Abrego St. (408) 372-3077

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Jose
• What we ate: P7A77 - Charleston Chicken Ranch Melt, French Fries, Coke; Amie - Chili Size Burger, French Fries, Iced Tea
• On the drive to this Denny's we passed through the Big Sur area, which has the type of scenery of which everyone takes photos, but also has this big rock with a farmhouse on top and a big muddy field of cows in front. I'm not sure why, but something about that appeals to me.
• Talk about your classic restaurants. This is one of the few REALLY old signs I've seen, and it might even be one of the original Denny's logo designs. The manager wasn't sure when the restaurant was opened, but he said a few weeks previous a customer was in who said he had worked on the plastering for the building back in 1961, so that's the best guess they have for it. All I know is that this Denny's is so old, it doesn't have a Lounge, it has a Tavern. I'm hoping Denny's #0001 has a Saloon.
• Jose was great. The food we wanted was on the Lunch Special menu (only available at the discounted price until 4pm), but he gave it to us anyway. We're still not sure what size is "chili" size for a burger, tho'.
• In case you were worried that humanity might have a chance at survival after all, you were wrong.
• WAY: Regular Customer in Bar (name unknown)
• Free Stuff: ZOOB Menu Insert

Denny's #7051 Morro Bay, California 20 October 2000 12:40pm PDT 850 Quintana Rd. (805) 772-3827

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Jami
• What we ate: nothing
• The front of this restaurant is sorta neat looking as far as these things go. It's an almost Japanese-style design, tho' I think part of that is from camera angle and slope of the driveway. It took me a long time to get anything out of these people. They were confused, as most all daytime employees are, and Jami went in the back to find me something and was gone for a LONG time. I figured she was just hiding back there until I left, so I wandered around and happened upon this. You can't see it clearly in the photo, but this was composed of multiple painted panels at varying levels to give it that 3D quality. The only thing that frightens me more about someone displaying such a thing is that it was made in the first place.
• I didn't have time to reflect upon it further, because Jami finally came back and gave me an apron! It has that smell that all Denny's aprons have, no matter how many times you wash it. Now I have a place to put all my pins.
• Since the reason we were taking this route and not the Denny's-filled I-5 is because of the scenic highway. So here, for you, are a few postcard-esque pictures from that drive. This first one is a shot of some rocks and the ocean. Here's another of the ocean with some rocks. And this is Amie sitting on some rocks in front of the ocean.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Apron

Denny's #6763 Oakdale, California 26 November 2005 7:45pm PDT 1555 East F Street (209) 847-0242

• Attendees: P7A77, Josh (formerly "The Bear"), Kara, Chad
• Wait-person(s): Kelly
• What we ate: P7A77: Root Beer Float; Josh: Buffalo Chicken Strips w/ Ranch & Blue Cheese, Iced Tea; Kara: Buffalo Chicken Strips, Iced Tea; Chad: Mozzarella Sticks, Coffee
• Who has two thumbs and didn't get his face eaten by a bear? This guy.
• I had no definite Thanksgiving plans, so the weekend previous, Josh suggested we do a local overnight camping stint the following Saturday. Sounded good to me. The next I heard, Chad and Kara were coming along, and now we were spending a couple of days in the Santa Cruz mountains. Aces. That Tuesday, Josh picked me up to go shopping for supplies and said we were instead spending three or four days in Yosemite. I had only been camping a few times, and never long-haul backpacking, and never to Yosemite. Hell yeah, bitches!
• Early on as we were hiking I saw a bear. Not way off in the distance somewhere, but about fifty feet from the path. I looked at it. It looked at me. I hoped it didn't think my face looked like a tasty snack. I remembered I was strapped in to a heavy pack containing most of our food and had been hiking all day and wasn't much for running. Then I realized I didn't have to outrun the bear, I only had to outrun Josh. I relaxed a bit. The bear went on his merry way; no maulings for now. I figured such sightings were common, so I didn't notify the guy with the camera. I was wrong.
• Our path took us from the valley floor up along the Merced river, past a couple of waterfalls, constantly moving up up up, climbing over some rocks from time to time, that sort of thing. Here's a handy tip for you other first-time backpackers: big heavy steel-toed workboots are not the most comfortable thing to wear. The only prevention to my falling over dead was inertia and the pleasant thought that, eventually, I would be able to stop. Eventually. Six miles is a hell of a long walk with a pack on your back and two thousand feet of ascent.
• We made it to camp about an hour from dusk. An advantage to camping in winter is hardly anyone else is around: we had the place practically to ourselves. I volunteered to go find water. After a whole lot of wandering and going in the wrong direction, I made it to the stream, filled up the bottles, and promptly fell into the water. The extremely cold water. I figured they'd have a fire going by the time I got back, and I found a path that seemed more direct, so I took it. Bzzt, wrong, this path went some other crazy way, so I made up a short-cut through the woods to the clearing that I'm sure was where I started. Er, uh, no. Okay, back to the path. What path? Huh? Okay, now I'm wandering in the woods, aimless, getting dark, and nobody but the bears to keep me company. Finally made my way back to the path, walked along it a bit, decided for some asinine reason to try another "shortcut", got lost again, finally beat it into my head to stick to the path I recognized no matter how long of a way around it was, and got back to camp. Everyone was very glad to see me, as they needed water to cook dinner. Nobody seemed particularly concerned that I, a camping neophyte with no flashlight, had gone missing in the dark for an hour. It's nice to feel safe and loved.
• That night was Thanksgiving dinner, and oh what a feast! Freeze-dried turkey, freeze-dried potatoes, freeze-dried cobbler, freeze-dried cranberry cheesecake. I don't eat this good usually, and I have plumbing and electricity. Chad and Kara did most of the cooking, and a fine job they did of it.
• The next day was sunny, so we set off on a day hike to Half Dome. Most of it was nice and leisurely. Then it got cold. Okay, we're warm from walking, keep moving. Then the wind started. Hey, we're bundled up, no problem. Then the fog. Who wanted to see the canyon anyway? Then the rain. Hey, we're almost at the top, let's push through it. Snow. Well, it's cold, and it's pretty, so no problem. Hail. Okay, FINE, we'll turn back. We made it to the base of the part where you need to be very crafty to climb, so it was a worthwhile trip. That night, after scavenging for any dry wood we could find, we eventually made a furnace to challenge the pits of hell. It melted my socks, but I was too cold and dirty to notice. I also had our pal Jack D. to keep me warm.
• Saturday was time to head back, towards civilization and showers. We passed fairly close to the peak of Liberty Cap and decided, what the hell, let's see what it looks like up there. Chad and Kara do this sort of thing all the time, but it was my first. What kept me going was seeing the view and wanting to know what it looked like a little bit higher, which was an even better view, leading me to believe it'd keep on improving like that. Now that I've been to the top I understand what all the fuss is about. No definition of the word 'panoramic' conveys the true meaning, and photos don't do it justice. It was, simply put, sensational. I look forward to climbing again, this time with a bit of training and the proper equipment, as the "falling to my death" bit isn't quite as appealing.
• The walk back was fairly uneventful, until Josh (formerly "The Bear") got himself caught in a bear trap. Chad & Kara to the immediate rescue. They told Josh the proper way to chew off his foot at the ankle, bandaged up the bloody stump, gave him some morphine, everything. Josh, ever the trooper, hobbled the last couple of miles with nary a whimper, and we were homeward bound.
• Oh, yeah, I almost forgot... we stopped at Denny's. Kara, a bit of the culinary snob, commented, "I liked Denny's... when I was 17," but when she saw the photos of the buffalo chicken strips, her eyes went wide. The overall experience was surprisingly pleasant, right down to the Russian teenagers pretending to be mobsters, and Chad going to the restroom with Josh to help him pee. Kelly, our waitress, was nice and flirty. There was some confusion about Oakland and Oakdale and whether or not we were still in California, but we muddled through somehow.
• EAST BAY!
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: joy and happiness, and a plastic cup

Denny's #0296 Oakland, California 21 May 2002 1:40pm PST 601 Hegenberger (415) 638-9632

• Attendees: P7A77, Dave, Branson, Omar, Craig
• Wait-person(s): Kia
• What we ate: P7A77 - Hashbrowns Covered & Smothered, Coke; Dave - Moons Over My Hammy (w/ Hashbrowns), Iced Tea; Branson - Coke; Omar - Club Sandwich (w/ French Fries), Strawberry Shake; Craig - Vanilla Shake
• They let me drive to this one! Okay, not really. But they did get footage of us inside the car. And in case you were wondering, those seats were awfully comfy. Nice, smooth leather. And when you pushed down on them, it was nothing but cushion. Not too firm, not too soft. It even had armrests. I'm sure some of my appreciation was from being blinded by the brand, but so damn what? It totally ruled the school.
• Unfortunately, this Denny's did not. Kia was great, but that's because she hadn't worked there long and didn't know any better. The manager was a little grumpy at our presence, even though they weren't very busy and we were being quiet in the back corner. She had to call somewhere to make sure it was okay for us to be there. Still, since we were on the teevee, I thought I'd try to get some good stuff. I asked for a rack of water glasses. An entire rack. She didn't seem terribly pleased with that idea. I think she thought she was under instruction by Denny's HQ to do whatever I said, as she had the look of "do I have to?" in her eyes. Any other time she would have laughed in my face. Finally, she produced an entire rack of wine glasses. Wait a minute, you're probably saying to yourselves, they don't serve wine at Denny's. Yes, sillies, that's why she was able to give me a rack of the glasses.
• Kia, through it all, was a good sport, and helped us ham it up for the camera. Craig said it was the best Denny's he'd ever been to in Alameda county.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: One (1) Menu, One (1) Rack of Fourteen (14) Wine Glasses

Denny's #6775 Newcastle, California 26 September 2002 11:42am PDT 681 Newcastle Rd. (916) 663-2011

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Sandy (manager)
• What we ate: Nothing
• These are the entries from the trip that don't have much written for them because not a lot was going on. The most notable thing about I-80 in California is we seemed in the middle of a Harley convention, and they, too, elected to stop at all the Denny's. This one offered beer, wine, and "expresso". I hate that term. ESPRESSO, goddamnit. At least they didn't have an "ATM Machine".
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #1647 Ontario, California 19 October 2000 7:40pm PDT 502 N. Vineyard (909) 937-1720

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Millie
• What we ate: nothing
• As I was approaching there was a lady sitting on the curb and rather loudly protesting to someone over a cellphone that she was not drunk. She saw me taking a photo and informed me that this is one of the few Denny's with a lounge, and that she was a bartender there. I didn't feel like letting her know that such beasts are more common that one would think. Denny's Lounges, that is, not drunk bartenders.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #6846 Ontario, California 19 October 2000 7:50pm PDT 1409 E. 4th St. (909) 983-2511

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Thomas
• What we ate: nothing
• There was a thick, dank smell to this Denny's. When pressed for free stuff, Thomas eagerly reached below the counter and produced a ZOOB box. He asked if that would do. I hastily approved, hoping I could snag it and run before a manager made me pay for it. Alas, it was empty. Maybe I could use it to store the two ZOOB pieces Cody in Thousand Palms threw my way.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Empty ZOOB Box

Denny's #6829 Palm Springs, California 19 October 2000 5:15pm PDT 63960 20th Avenue North (760) 251-0858

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Amy
• What we ate: nothing
• Nobody here knew Cody from Thousand Springs - not even the manager. Now that I think about it, I'm not even sure Cody worked at the other Denny's either. This Denny's was surrounded by thousands of windmills that anyone who's driven I-10 through Palm Springs is sure to remember. I tried to get a good picture, but the little snapshot camera I had didn't have a zoom or anything. You can sort of see them in the distance, but it's not nearly dramatic as it is when you're there.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: nothing (to be fair, Amy looked for a while)

Denny's #7415 Pleasanton, California 28 May 2005 11:15am PDT 6455 Owens Dr. (925) 463-0720

• Attendees: P7A77, Adder
• Wait-person(s): Laura
• What we ate: nothing
• More lie UNpleasanton. Am I right? Am I right? Work with me here, people.
• They wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. One guy, as I was attempting conversation, simply walked away without a word. Maybe I should stop wearing my Denny's shirts when I visit Denny's. It could make me seem like a crazy obsessed drooling fanboi type. And that's just silly. Heh. Heh. Urm.
• I'm sure by now you've put the pieces together. You know I live in O-Town, and you can see I went from Danville to Pleasanton. You're probably jumping up and down with excitement at what's coming next. Well, stop jumping because you're scaring the cat. Yes, that's right, we were off to visit the Centennial Bulb in Livermore.
• For the few of you who maybe haven't been paying attention for the past one hundred four years, I'll fill you in. The Centennial Bulb is a light bulb first put to use by the fire department in 1901. It now burning as brightly as a single-digit watt bulb can burn in Fire Station #6 in Livermore. Yes, it still works. Don't believe me? Check for yourself you negative nellies.
• Now that you've been effectively humbled, I'll relay a bit of our adventure. Ready? Here it comes. We walked in, asked if we could look at the light bulb, and took photos. I get a tingle just thinking about it. Fireman Rod was kind enough to tell us a bit about the bulb and answer the same questions he hears all the time. Such as, "Do you get worried it will spike and burst after a power outage?" "We're a fire station and protected on the grid." "Oh yeah." Seems they like to play basketball in there sometimes. Basketball. In a room with very bouncy walls and floors. Next to an extremely fragile piece of modern history and the biggest draw to Livermore since whatever the hell it was they had there before 1901. The biggest draw to Livermore since they were sitting the dark waiting for electricity, that's what it is. And they casually throw things at it. Next month they're having shotgun target practice in there.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #6847 Pomona, California 19 October 2000 8:10pm PDT 1504 Gillette Rd. (909) 623-5814

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Frank
• What we ate: nothing
• The poor folks at this place were a little distraught by my visit. One woman took a while processing what it is I was getting at, and asked me if I just do this at all Denny's. Frank asked me if he was going to get in trouble with corporate, like he thought I was a corporate spy firing people who gave in to my demands.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Menu

Denny's #0278 Redlands, California 19 October 2000 7:20pm PDT 1180 Alabama Street (909) 798-2475

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Denise
• What we ate: nothing
• I was so very excited when Denise gave me a handful of coupons. I thought maybe our funding for the rest of the trip would be greatly supplemented. It turns out they're only for the Denny's in Redlands. If anybody wants some, give me a call.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Coupons

Denny's #6104 Rocklin, California 26 September 2002 11:28am PDT 4460 Rocklin Rd (916) 624-4800

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Steve, Cathy
• What we ate: Nothing
• If this Denny's a-rocklin, don't come a-knocklin.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Mug

Denny's #1998 Sacramento, CA 25 September 2002 11:30pm PDT 925 3rd St. (916) 443-1951

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Michael, Linnea
• Wait-person(s): N/A
• What we ate: N/A
• We got to Sacramento a bit later than expected, all fired up for some greasy heart-clogging food. The locals picked the closest Denny's and off we went, mouths salivating. Got there, parked, and I went for the establishing shot. I walked up to the front door and everyone was still standing there. I told 'em I already got a picture and we could go inside, but they pointed to a sign on the door.
• "Sorry were closed for Routeen Matience"
• Read that again, people. Words fail me.
• Routeen matience, as best as I could figure, was a staff meeting. They certainly weren't studying for the SATs.
• That plan soured, we gave the finger to the yellow and green and went to where this project should never tread: The International House of Pancakes. We get there, hungry for a rooty tooty full of fruity shake your bootie slam, and... CLOSED.
• Seriously, what the fuck? What the hell is wrong with this town?
• At least Taco Bell was open.
• Free Stuff: N/A

Denny's #6375 San Francisco, California 24 June 2001 1:10pm PDT 1700 Post Street (415) 563-1400

• Attendees: P7A77, Adder, Sonya
• Wait-person(s): undetermined
• What we ate: P7A77 - Spam, Scrambled Eggs, Kimchee, Steamed Rice, Milk, Coke; Adder - Farmer's Slam, Hashbrowns, Coke; Sonya - Club Sandwich, Coke, Grasshopper Blaster Milkshake
• Adder come down to visit me for Bingo in San Jose, so I returned the favor for Pride March with him and his lovely wife in San Francisco. And rather than take the advice we received there as to what we should eat, we went to Denny's in Japantown.
• You read that right. I ate Spam. At Denny's. That's why I wanted to go there in the first place. I'd heard from many people that one can get Spam there. I'm not afraid to say that I like Spam. I've made it several times myself. One of my favorite things to do is fry up some Spam, scramble some eggs (with white and yellow American cheese melted on top), toast up some sourdough, slop on some mayonnaise, add a touch of Tabasco, and throw it all together. That's right. Moons Over My Spammy.
• But I digress. Turns out I couldn't just have them serve Spam with any meal (or possibly follow my Moons recipe), but had to order it from a special menu, as part of a special meal. Rice and Kimchee, with the eggs. Hell yeah! Korean food with Spam in the Japantown Denny's. Bring it on! I ordered Coke when I sat down, but once I saw that I was getting kimchee, I added milk to my order. I ain't no fool.
• The food wasn't bad. I was a little frightened of the kimchee. It was stuffed in a little monkey dish, but every time I pulled a piece out, twice as much seemed to replace it. The Spam was... well... it was Spam. Would have been better on a sandwich. But still tasty and Spamariffic!
• The Denny's itself is pretty cool. Part of a little mini shopping area, and it's two stories. It was very small and very crowded, but they were very fast. We were in and out faster than we usually are at most other Denny's on a good night. So was Adder's food. He suffered from food poisoning shortly after we left. I was fine, though. No more or less gassy than usual. Mmm, kimchee.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: diarrhea

Denny's #6607 San Francisco, California 21 May 2002 5:45pm PST 495 Beach Street (415) 776-3700

• Attendees: P7A77, Dave, Branson, Omar
• Wait-person(s): Ali
• What we ate: P7A77 - Cherry Cheesecake; Dave - Apple Pie (heated) A La Mode, Milk; Branson - nothing; Omar - Apple Pie (heated) A La Mode, Coffee
• This Denny's is, as they say, teh sux.
• Nobody was pleased to see us. To back up a bit, several dozen Bay area Denny's had been told we might be stopping by. The folks at this place were annoyed that we hadn't been there earlier. Because, I suppose, we have magical control over time and space and are able to be in more than one place at one time. To be fair, Ali was fine. His service was prompt and the desserts were well presented. And, to be even more fair, this is a franchise-owned Denny's (rather than corporate-owned), so any stuff they give us comes out of their own pockets.
• Still, they could have been friendlier. I guess they figure they're in a tourist-heavy part of town (they even had a front desk to reflect this), and attached to a hotel to boot, so they don't have to worry about pesky little things like removing fifteen-year-old advertisements from the walls, or smiling.
• That just made things easier for us. It was a fun and productive day, but we were ready to be done. All told, it took over ten hours of time, almost six hours of videotape, and the depletion of all batteries on hand for the camera. Craig, who had cut out early, said it would have been the best Denny's he'd have ever been to in San Francisco county.
• Poor Craig.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: One (1) Fork (stolen by Dave)

Denny's #6873 San Francisco, California 25 August 2005 7:00am PDT 816 Mission St. (415) 243-8800

• Attendees: P7A77, Winter, Illy-B
• Wait-person(s): Teresa
• What we ate: P7A77: Moons Over My Hammy, Hashbrowns, Coffee; Winter: Biscuits, Eggs (scrambled), Illy-B: Grand Slam (eggs scrambled), Large Orange Juice
• So apparently there are these people who are obsessed with going around and visiting thousands of more or less carbon copies of a faceless corporate conglomerate's manufactured style masquerading as low-rent sustenance. Strange but true, and I got to meet one of them, Winter, that guy who does the Starbucks site. He's rather more hard-core than I am. Me, I get to an update when the mood strikes me, which patient readers know can take rather long to come about. Winter works part time and freelance and endlessly criss-crossing the country. That's dedication. He says they open new Starbuckses more quickly than he can visit them, so while he's always attending new Starbuckses, his percentage visited of national total is decreasing. I'd like to see some 3-d calculus graphs of his pattern. The thing is, they're making a movie about his madness, and seeing as we've been around the same amount of time, he wanted to meet up. Sure, what the hell, I still had a city Denny's to visit, works out well. We hung out for a while, chatted for a bit, caught most of it on video. I doubt they'll use much of me, as I tend to ramble and mumble a lot.
• I don't really drink coffee any more. I used to, on cold mornings in Ohio, but in Arizona it was hardly necessary, so I moved on to soda. I've kicked that habit as well, and now only juice up if I'm especially tired. And hoo-boy is it effective. For some reason I decided to get a cup at Denny's. This was ridiculous. I think I even got a refill. Hey, I was up early before work, I had a rather rough night's sleep, I wasn't used to this. But I forgot that after we were done with breakfast, we were visiting one of the Starbucks that Winter had yet to hit. Ooh, cross-over episode! Stay tuned for a scary Vampire show that we advertise in this time slot in order to freak the snot out of little kids absorbing 7th Heaven.
• After a rather... interesting drive through the city, with me not knowing what roads go what direction because I always walk, and Winter's rather colorful driving technique, we managed to park illegally and dart into Starbucks, where I had my first sample of their product. It did about what I expected, which was burn the top of my mouth. Cheers.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: meal and coffee (thanks guys!)

Denny's #1405 San Jose, California 05 October 2000 9:00pm PDT 1001 E. Capitol Expressway, near McLaughlin (408) 578-2549

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Gilmore, Linnea
• Wait-person(s): Kevin
• What we ate: P7A77 - Smoked Moons Over My Hammy (eggs scrambled), Hashbrowns, Coffee; Amie - Double Decker Classic, French Fries, Iced Tea; Gilmore - Garlic Mushroom Burger, French Fries, Coke, Coffee (yes - shut up); Linnea - Chicken Cordon Bleu, French Fries, Diet Coke
• Amie and I were going to the area for two reasons. One was because she had a job interview that Friday (she had been "let go" in a "mutual decision" from her previous employer a few weeks previous). But more importantly, the last two shows of potentially the last tour ever (tho' not confirmed) of Phish were in Mountain View that weekend. It also happened to be Amie's birthday. The planets may have been aligning, too. Since the only thing that could make a birthday spent all day in airports and on airplanes more depressing is going to Denny's (especially since they don't do the free birthday meals any more), that's exactly where we went within hours of arriving in San Jose.
• Our waiter, Kevin, was enthusiastic, friendly, and courteous, which immediately made us suspicious. It turns out it was his second day on the job, so it all made sense. To help illustrate his trainee status, he asked me how I wanted my eggs prepared with the Moons. As any seasoned traveler knows, they only come scrambled. I said as much and he went on his way, only to come back a few minutes later for more clarification. I'm not really sure what happened, but I think he had told the cook that I wanted my side of eggs scrambled. Luckily this cook knew how the food was supposed to be prepared, so he sent Kevin back to clarify that I wanted a side order of eggs. I didn't, and explained that eggs come on the sandwich, hence the "Moons" in the title, and that I wanted my side dish to be hashbrowns, as previously stated.
• Once that confused was taken care of, Gilmore and Linnea were able to play with the complimentary ZOOBS left in a bucket near our table. The final result was some sort of big-headed four-legged two-tailed monster thing that, now that I look at it, resembles one of the sculptures that attacks the Catharine O'Hara and Jeffery Jones in Beetlejuice, but I think they just ran out of ZOOBS.
• In a pathetic attempt to make Amie's birthday more special, once the food arrived I brought out birthday candles I had stealthily brought with us from Tucson and proceeded to stick them in her bun. I had been hoping she was going to get her standard of Moons Over My Hammy (which has toasted sourdough), but the soft bun of the burger was only able to withstand fourteen candles before it started to collapse.
• The rest of our meal went without incident (aside from the lack of coffee refills). I tried to get some free stuff from Kevin, but he was a little confused and then got busy making a salad or something, so we treated ourselves to the Daily Features sign in the lobby. It featured the meal I had just eaten and told us that kindness was free. (To be fair, and to clear myself from liability, it's actually Gilmore who took the sign, since I was too much of a spineless wimp.)
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Display Board

Denny's #7721 San Juan Capistrano, California 20 October 2001 10:00am PDT 27142 Ortega Highway (949) 493-1848

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Kim
• Wait-person(s): unknown
• What we ate: unknown ... probably a Moons Over My Hammy in there somewhere.
• We were down there for an exhibit that was showing one of Amie's photographs. Ironically, Amie lost the roll of film that contains the photos for this entry. Creepier still is that I can't find my notes from the visit. Something out there doesn't want anyone to know of this Denny's visit.
• It's probably Hertz car rental. They sucks a nut, I tell you what. We were all excited about our trip. Our airfare was paid for by the show, so we prepared to spend the extra few bucks and get a convertible sports car from the rental agency. We reserved it online with my check card and were all set. Then we got to the airport (on a delayed flight, even) and stood in line to pick up our car. I couldn't tell what was going on, but there seemed to be an issue with the guy in front of me. So the clerk was a bit snippy when it was my turn. I gave her our information and our confirmation numbers and all of that, and she told me I couldn't use a check card. But I reserved the card with the check card. She said it was against their policy. Well, heck, I don't have any credit cards. She pointed me to agencies that would take check cards, but they charged more. Hmm.
• I finally talked to a manager, who told me that it was against their policy to take check cards. I asked them to show me this policy. They couldn't do it. I asked why was I able to make the reservation with the check card. They said that you can reserve it, and you can pay for the rental with it, but you can't use it to sign out the car. They said it says this on the web site. I asked them to show me. They didn't have a computer capable of it. Then I noticed in the literature they handed me which they said proved I couldn't use a check card where it said I COULD use cash. I told them I'd like to reserve the car with cash. They said it was against their policy. I showed them that it wasn't against their policy. They said that it was against their policy and too bad for me. This went back and forth for a while.
• Amie knew that my discussions with the manager would not lead to a mutually satisfactory resolution, so stayed back in the lounge and watched the folks at the front counter. She said that immediately after I went off to talk to a manager, the slob of a woman at the counter rushed over to where she had a big ol' burger and fries waiting for her. Get the pesky customers out of the way quickly so I can BLAARRGHH GMMMOORRRFF GRUUUMMMP.
• We ended up getting a nice car (I forget what it was) from some other company (also forget what it was). But I do remember that the car had one of those keychains that allowed me to honk the horn or set off the alarm or unlock the doors or pop the trunk. I drive things like schoolbuses and Geo Metros. I'm not accustomed to these modern technological advances. I gotta say, it was quite nice. And a seat that adjusted along multiple axes with a switch! And automated internal temperature! I'm tellin' ya, the lap of luxury.
• So anyway, what we had planned on making a nice drive down the interstate with the top down on a warm autumn evening, stopping at all the Denny's along the way, turned into an angry, bitter, hungry, traffic jam of a nightmare in a sedan on a late Friday night in LA. So we didn't stop at any Denny's except for the one next to our hotel. We even got hotel vouchers for $5 off of each meal. About half-way through the meal, some strange woman came up and sat down next to us and started talking to Amie. I thought it was just some local loony finding an empty seat and making good use out of it. I even started looking forward for that opportunity. But it turned out to be a woman involved with organizing the show, and the woman who paid for our airfare and hotel room, so not such a random encounter after all.
• I lost the film so I used the wonder of images.google.com to recreate the experience. I searched for keywords and used the first image that came up. The Denny's was in San Juan Capistrano. When I was there I bought some Power Rings. Amie's friend Kim drove down from LA to hang out for a while. And we all had a grand ol' time.
• WAY: unknown
• Free Stuff: unknown

Denny's #6919 San Leandro, California 28 May 2005 1:40pm PDT 15015 Freedom Ave. (510) 278-9826

• Attendees: P7A77, Adder, Sonya
• Wait-person(s): Manuela
• What we ate: P7A77: Coke Float; Adder: Vanilla Shake; Sonya: Root Bear Float
• Full of energy and excitement after viewing the oldest functioning light bulb in the world, we stopped by something we saw off the highway on the way over... MINI GOLF. Denny's, Batman, landmarks, and now this. The day couldn't possibly get better. We briefly got lost trying to find the gigantic fun palace immediately off the highway, but we're aimless like that. Fairly decent course considering they don't like to design fun mini golf courses in California. They probably figure the ocean, mountains, rivers, and parks are enough outdoor entertainment for us. Well, not those of us from Ohio, damnit! We want decent mini golf! This one had the requisite windmill as well as an opportunity for us to pretend like we're twelve years old with our humor. Not like we need much excuse to do that.
• Oh yeah, Denny's. Sonya had the bright idea to get an ice cream float, which was much preferred to the milkshake I had been planning on. Yes, I sometimes plan what I'm going to eat at which Denny's. Listen, you spend a fair portion of your life hopping from Denny's to Denny's and then tell me that pacing yourself isn't a good idea.
• At first I had a good feeling about this place. We were at the end of a satisfying day, we were sitting at the counter, and the waitress seemed friendly. But when I tried to do the usual bit at the end, she got all confused on us. Well, back up a second. She's the one who did the confusing. We didn't get a meal ticket, just her telling us how much it was. I asked for a ticket, and she didn't seem to understand what I was talking about. Maybe she wanted to pocket $15. So that threw me off, and I wasn't too good in describing what I was doing.
• What's really distressing about this entire run is that nobody I talked to knew who Weird Al Yankovic was. This has been a trend lately. Not even, "oh, wait, that one guy, right?" No hint of name recognition. Its a sad state of affairs in this nation's second-rate chain diner network, I tell you what.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #0289 San Luis Obispo, California 20 October 2000 11:35am PDT 1460 Calle Joaquin (805) 543-7220

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Barbara
• What we ate: P7A77 - Sampler; Amie - Coke
• This is a teeny-tiny little Denny's with one of the older signs, but inside had a Diner conversion. The game where you put in a dollar and a claw comes down and almost grabs an item that's way too heavy for the weak springs in the claw to ever withstand so you put in another dollar and try again and almost get a hold of the edge but it slips away and so you put in another ten bucks and still don't end up getting a fifty cent toy but it doesn't matter because you're drunk and waiting for a table was filled with "scary" Hallowe'en-themed toys. Things like ghosts and masks and witches and stuff. And a Britney Spears doll. I don't think this needs any more comment.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Table Display

Denny's #1924 San Luis Obispo, California 20 October 2000 12:15pm PDT 208 Madonna Rd. (805) 543-3138

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Dynia
• What we ate: nothing
• Ever since we started seeing signs for San Luis Obispo I knew that the name was familiar to me in some way, but I couldn't place it. Here is where I found out why.
• Dynia was wondering why I was doing all of this, and after everything I said just looked at me with wonderment and pity. When I asked about the Weird Al lookalike, she informed me that Al went to college at CalPoly in San Luis Obispo and did his early recordings in a bathroom there. Of course! That's why I knew the name! This is where Al learned to live and love!
• Since Dynia seemed to be hip to subversiveness, I asked her to give me a monkey bowl. She scolded me and said they were officially called vegetable dishes. I said she should give me one anyway. She did.
• WAY: No (sadly)
• Free Stuff: Vegetable Dish (NOT a Monkey Bowl)

Denny's #7219 Santa Clara, California 04 July 1999 10:45am PDT 3715 El Camino Real (408) 296-1048

• Attendees: P7A77, Wade Bell, Matthew Ross Davis, Linnea, Barbara Reece, Michael Reece
• Wait-person(s): Pancho
• What we ate: P7A77 - Ultimate Omelette, Hashbrowns Covered & Smothered, Rye Toast, Coffee, Water; Wade - Hotcakes, Coffee, Water; Matthew - 2 Egg Breakfast (over easy), Hashbrowns, Sourdough Toast, Coffee, Water; Linnea - 2 Egg Breakfast (scrambled), Country Fried Potatoes, Coffee, Orange Juice, Water; Barbara - Eggs Benedicts (no ham), Sourdough Toast, Hot Chocolate, Water; Michael - 2 Egg Breakfast (scrambled), Hashbrowns, Sourdough Toast, Orange Juice, Water
• We went to visit friends in San Francisco for a 4th of July weekend bash. This wasn't just any sort of pansy-ass cookout... this was a kick you in the head, slide your face around in the gravel, punch you in the gut, scrape your kneecaps to the bone sort of bash. We partied. HARD. When all was said and done I was awake for about forty hours, which isn't that big of a deal usually, but when one has been torturing his mind and body as I had been, it seems like an eternity. This trip to Denny's was made on about hour 28.
• The Denny's was only about a mile or so from the bash location, and since nobody was in much of a mood (or a state) to drive, we walked. The morning sun was cruel to my eyes, but refreshing to my body. The folks I was with were all tech-heads, and as we were walking I asked exactly where Silicon Valley was. They said I was right in the middle of it. This is at what I was looking when they said that. I was still mulling that over when I got to this point. Not quite what I expected.
• Finally we got to Denny's. It seems like a newer location because of the store number, but it was interesting to see the old style logo in a non-Denny's-shaped sign. Tho' at that point I really didn't care too much. I wanted to get in and eat.
• This was the first time I had been to a Denny's since they started their ZOOB promotion. For those who don't know or haven't seen it, ZOOBS are these little plastic modular toys that one can piece together to make various things (such as the "ZOOB DUDE"). It's a mix between Lego blocks and Tinker Toys. Same sort of concept. On their lobby display they had a note that they'd give you a set with which to play for free while you waited for your meal, and they also strongly suggested that one purchase more than one set, because look at all the fun things you can make with two, three, or even four sets of ZOOBS. What marketing. Get the kids hooked on playing with them, then show them how more is better. First one's free, but after that, it takes more and more to get the same feeling.
• We were seated, but they only had booths. We thought we might try to get everyone crammed into a booth, so we asked for a chair. Then we decided there'd be no way to get comfortable with that, so we opted for two booths. Alas, it was too late to stop the order for the chair, so we kept it anyway. Then, a few minutes later, the family at the large table across the aisle left (possibly prompted by our presence), so we swapped, putting their dirty dishes and tip on our table, and moving our drinks and silverware and bodies over to theirs. And, since it was still a little crowded, I ended up sitting in the chair.
• The meal came and went without incident. I noticed that most of my dining companions (picture two) had a two egg breakfast and sourdough toast. Must be a California thing. Every time the waiter came by, I asked about purchasing some ZOOBS. He kept saying he'd get some, but he never did. Finally he told me they were out. Blast! So I asked if I could buy the box that was in the front lobby display. He checked and said no. Well, then, since they were out of Zoobs, could I have one of the ceiling displays? He had to check on that. He came back and said that if I could get it down, I could have one. These things were eight or nine feet in the air, so he probably thought I'd never get to it. He must have forgotten the chair. A few steps and snips later, I was the proud owner of not only a ZOOB display, but a ZOOB DUDE and a ZOOB SCORPION (on the back of the display). Unfortunately, they were glued together, so I couldn't take them apart and make more ZOOB creatures, but in the grand scheme of things, I didn't really care.
• When all was said and done, this turned out to be one of the most fruitful Denny's trips I've taken. I mean, how can you go wrong with ZOOBS.
• As a footnote, Amie and I also did a little sightseeing (after a nap and a shower). Here's a nice shot of the Golden Gate Bridge, and another of us in front of said bridge.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: ZOOB Display

Denny's #6917 Santa Clara, California 22 June 2001 10:20pm PDT 1745 El Camino Real (408) 243-6053

• Attendees: P7A77, Adder
• Wait-person(s): Mary Ann
• What we ate: P7A77 - Western Wing Round-Up Skillet (half bbq / half buffalo), Water; Adder - Scram Slam (w/ Hashbrowns covered & smothered, wheat toast), Coffee
• So what do a couple of good-lookin' guys in the prime of their late youth slash early young adulthood do with themselves on a nice, warm Summer night? I'll give ya a hint... There was a farmer had a dog... That's right, kids... BINGO!
• We got to the Bingo hall about half an hour early. Size it up. Grab the good seats. Put the ol' stare on the octogenarians. Let 'em know who rolled into town. Of course, the Early Bird rounds were in full swing, so all the seats near the snack bar were taken. No worries, we eased our way to a clear table and set up camp.
• An acquaintance gave me a bit of info I might need to know before I went, so I knew what a dauber was and that I needed one. I was told it's usually easiest to play two cards, but they had a special for buy two get one free, so we each got three. At the time I thought we played one bingo square each on every sheet per game. Oh, was I wrong. More on that later.
• We couldn't quite get how people knew what to do. Bingo's not just five in a row, no siree. It's crazy box patterns and multiple rows and criss-crosses and all evens for free and oh so many combinations. It wasn't quite clear what method was for each round. But then we finally saw there was a big lighted board telling us that, so we relaxed.
• Then the game started. Oh my god. Yeah, you think about it, it seems easy. They call a number, you look for it on your card, you mark it with the dauber, you wait for the next number. Yeah. It's not one square per sheet, it's one sheet per game. That was eighteen bingo boards each we had to pay attention to on each round. And those numbers went FAST. Sure, they showed a video with the next ball to be called, and they had a board keeping track of it all, but until you've actually done it, don't judge our lack of preparedness. Adder couldn't hack it, so he went down to two. My OCD kicked in (and the thought of missing a potential winning card) so I took over and did four sheets for a while. That didn't last long.
• I finally got into the swing of things. Some folks sitting near us helped us out from time to time. I got the rhythm of scanning the cards quickly. Almost won a couple of times. But then, practically everyone almost wins. When all was said and done, we had a somewhat creepy feeling. We enjoyed ourselves. We're just not sure why.
• Four hours later, we were at Denny's. I wanted to get something new, and saw the Western Wing Round-Up Skillet. It was all BBQ wings, but I was pretty sure I'd be able to get the waitress to do it half Buffalo style. It would have been easier if I had been able to pronounce the name of the item. The waitress mocked me for getting tongue-tied, but when challenged, she couldn't say it three times real fast. So there. Nyeah. But hey, she did do halvsies for me.
• Maybe she felt the eternal shame of having lost her honor at not pronouncing the menu items, but she was a horrible waitress. Well, not horrible. She didn't have sores on her arm, and bodily fluids didn't find their way into our food. But she didn't check up on us, either, and Adder didn't get much coffee. When we tried for the free stuff, she wouldn't even talk to us; she just handed us over to the manager, Gurardo. We still didn't get anything. Adder, ever the gentleman, paid for my meal, so I left a nice tip. Adder said he wouldn't have.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #0284 South San Francisco, California 21 May 2002 3:50pm PST 2220 Westborough Boulevard (650) 873-0252

• Attendees: P7A77, Dave, Branson, Omar, Craig
• Wait-person(s): Matt (general manager), Mariano (the other manager), Ross (our server), Susan (server), Crissy (server), Bob (the Cook), Maria (the New Girl)
• What we ate: P7A77 - Sampler, Rootbeer (w/ Cherry Sludge); Dave - New & Improved! T-Bone Steak Dinner (medium), Iced Tea; Branson - nothing; Omar - Chicken Strips (w/ Honey Mustard), Sprite; Craig - Tuna Melt, Iced Tea
• It was on the way to this Denny's that Dave started to realize what he had gotten himself into. Ha-ha, he probably had previously thought to himself, we'll take a fun morning going around visiting Denny's. It'll be a hoot. I don't want to say I told him so, but, well, I told him so. The Oakland Denny's had put a sour mood in the air, and we had a ways to go before the next one. Since vintage luxury cars don't run on vegetable oil, we had to gas up before going over the bridge. Then we noticed a lot of gasoline was dripping from underneath the car, but the people at the rental place said it was normal. I don't think, at that point, anyone would have minded being engulfed in flame and molten metal, anyway. Of course, we got lost on the way to the Denny's. We had initially thought of going to six area restaurants, but by now we all agreed that four would probably be more than enough. It was getting to be quite a long day.
• And then we arrived. Several of the staff greeted us at the door. Everyone was extraodinarily friendly. The food arrived quickly and was cooked to perfection (we were so full from the other Denny's we couldn't finish it all, but it did taste very good... kudos to Bob). Not only did I get my usual Rootbeer with cherry sludge, but they let me mix my own. I was able to get the employees to do a "SLAM!" sing-along with me. Even the restrooms smelled good. And not only was there a WAY, but it was the general manager! Score! And oh, the booty we collected! Now, okay, granted there were maybe three other customers in the entire restaurant, and they knew we were coming, and they knew they'd be on the teevee... but as Oakland proved, that don't guarantee squat. Matt was the type of manager who would have joyously gone along with all the shenanigans anyway. It warmed my heart that a Denny's that would have been a good visit regardless was able to be the highlight of this special trip. It sure did lift our spirits for the last leg of the journey. Craig said it was the best Denny's he'd ever been to in San Mateo county.
• So one more shout-out to the fine staff at the South City Denny's. We owe ya one.
• WAY: Yes (Matt, the General Manager)
• Free Stuff: Three (3) Daytime Menus, One (1) Late Nite Menu, (1) Zoob Dude, One (1) Denny's Desk Clock, One (1) Denny's Calculator, One (1) Denny's Watch, One (1) Booster Seat

Denny's #7217 Sunnyvale, California 28 April 2001 11:55pm PDT 311 South Mathilda Avenue (408) 245-7720

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, m_rien
• Wait-person(s): Alex
• What we ate: P7A77 - Buffalo Chicken Wings (w/ Ranch & Bleu Cheese), Diet Coke; Amie - Moons Over My Hammy (w/ Hashbrowns), Hot Chocolate, Water; m_rien - Scram Slam (w/ Hashbrowns & Rye Toast), Apple Juice, Water
• I had no idea when this day began that I'd end it taking photographs of stuffed animals.
• My good friend and fellow project regular Adder had come down from San Francisco to spend the weekend. Nothing really planned, just hanging out and doing stuff. We started the morning watching Fishing With John (fishing... with John...) on DVD and I made some omelets which I had hyped as being the best in the world but which came out just awful and yucky and all wrong. They tasted okay, but they weren't great, and the presentation was horrid. But that's okay.
• After breakfast I decided that I had to have a particular video game so Adder and I took a walk over to the bank near my house. I put my card into the ATM (note lack of "Machine" after that), typed in my PIN (same lack of "Number"), and asked it would it please if it didn't mind give me some money. It wouldn't. I had a quick flash to a few minutes previous when the woman using the ATM before me got all frustrated and went inside, and cataloged that for another future reference. I tried another ATM. Typed in my PIN. Asked for money. Bzzt, too bad. I again remembered the woman using the machines before me and decided that something must be wrong with the system and went inside myself. The lines were long, but I didn't care, as I had no real goals for the day, and besides, the bank was open on a Saturday, so you can't complain too much about that. When I finally got to the front I explained the situation to the person behind the counter, and the first thing the person asked was if I was using the right card. I looked at the card. It was not, in fact, the right card. I thanked them for their time and walked the gauntlet through the remaining waiting customers (all laughing at me, I'm sure of it) and out the door.
• On the way back home I stopped at Trader Joe's and picked up some red licorice that they have that is so darned tasty. I don't think red licorice is really licorice, but I admit I don't know too much about the subject, and everyone else calls it licorice, so I don't spend too much time worrying about it. Anyway, got back home, got the right card, decided to drive this time, and got my money. Now it was time to go to Fry's.
• I had never been to Fry's. It was awful. Very crowded and dark and cramped and they didn't have the game I wanted oh my god how could they not have it they are evil for this evil evil evil. Screw all this, I said, let's go over to a friend's house - let's call her "Babs" - and use her PlayStation 2. Well, actually, that was the plan all along, so I wasn't really taking that much command of the situation. It was really Fry's that eliminated the "purchase new game" part of it.
• So we spent a while at Babs' place getting vaguely technically impressed but with a slight anticlimactic air that happens when you play PS2 launch titles. Babs was actually out of town (but she said we could stop by for geekdom while she was gone), so we were surprised when the front door opened and who should walk in but Chuck D (credited above as m_rien)! Chuck's living situation had recently shifted and he was now staying at Babs'. Adder and Chuck exchanged pleasantries and when it was discovered that Adder lived in San Francisco and was going to take the train home later, Chuck said hell, let's drive up there and then go drink oyster shots! I wasn't sure. Chuck said he'd drive. Let's go!
• I've been told I'm taking way too long to get to the Denny's part of this Denny's entry, so suffice to say that the trip to San Francisco was very enjoyable. A few tidbits... it was discovered that Adder and Chuck went to the same gradeschool (in Singapore of all places) at the same time, tho' they never knew each other then. In fact, they had just met that day. Chuck displayed his complete lack of parallel parking abilities. The oyster shots were yummy.
• Okay, fine, Denny's. Really, how many of these reviews do you have to read before you realize that they're all exactly the same? The most notable thing about this Denny's is that there's a fireplace inside. But not fire (a customer offered to start one for me; I'm not sure he meant in the hearth). The waiter was surprisingly friendly, accurate, and fast... something rare to have at Denny's these day. Chuck would like to give a shoutout to #602 on EFnet, who should all know of stories about IRC ravers and gay sex in Denny's bathrooms. I would like one of them to tell ME these stories.
• There was the usual mix of customers: a young couple trying to have some private time, a family not at all being pleased by my jumping around and taking photos, and a gaggle of Denny's rats playing some sort of role playing game in the corner booths. One of 'em had a pet.
• Happy now?
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #7135 Tehachapi, California 12 October 2001 9:00am PDT 9000 Magellan Street (661) 823-7380

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Sherri
• What we ate: nothing
• Now THIS was a found Denny's. We were driving through some beautiful mountains, but we were running out of gas. I stopped at the best chance I saw for a gas station, and thought to myself that it would be amusing to happen upon a Denny's right then in the middle of nowhere. Pull around to the gas station and... a Denny's right next to it.
• Of course, when I got out of the car and looked around, I saw there was a town up the hill a little bit, so no offense to the fine residence of Tehachapi. Speaking of which, I think that's a wonderful name. I had Sherri repeat it a couple of times just because I liked the sound of it. She knew everyone's names as they walked through the door. Ah, the regulars. Speaking of Sherri, she was super duper polite to me. And by "polite to" I mean "tolerant of".
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Frequent Diner Card (good at Tehachapi location only)

Denny's #6863 Thousand Palms, California 19 October 2000 5:00pm PDT 72248 Varner Road (760) 343-3739

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Cody
• What we ate: nothing
• Our Denny's Travel Directory said there would be a Denny's in Indio. We tried to find it, but couldn't. We did, however, find a place called "El Sinaloense" that's not fooling anyone.
• The visit in Thousand Palms was just about as successful. Cody said he was new there, but he used to work at the Denny's down the road in Palm Springs. He was happy enough to help, but he didn't know much.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: two pieces of ZOOB

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